4 TARDISes
by InsanityDog
Summary: 3 Timelords, a whole bunch of companions who are lost, and a pair that is not supposed to be there. As one may expect it gets really complicated really quickly. A bit cracky.
1. The Doctor and Rose

_**How you doin'. Just a quick note-y to warn that this story isn't something even remotely serious and in fact may soon fall into the happy category of crack. I really have never tried to do this before so criticism is appreciated.**__**Characters may be a bit OOC. Ye have been warned. **_

_** ...xxx...**_

"Donna, please don't get too…"- the Doctor whipped his head quickly around only to find he was surrounded by drastically Donna-less space – "…far from me or you'll get lost. Damn it, why do they never listen! Seriously, the number of times I've had to spend a perfectly good shopping trip in finding R-" he stopped himself there, because obviously he was being silly. Talking to himself like that and dwelling on THAT subject was not healthy and he knew it. So he just sniffed distractedly, rammed his hands into his pockets and strolled on. Or rather pushed on, as the crowds really were thick enough. Or rather tried to push on before bumping into a very annoyed Rose Tyler. Who promptly started yelling at him, partly out of exasperation (or so it seemed) and partly out of the need to out-yell the crowd, which was trying to make a human/ confused timelord sandwich out of them.

"Doctor, what the hell! It took me ages to find you, don't…. OY MATE STOP PUSHIN' YEAH?"

To this the Doctor was just gaping. Gobsmacked he was.

"Yeah, nice impression of a fish there! Cat got your tongue, what's the matter? Were you hoping to get rid of me, huh? Well you can't lose me that easily you can't!"- Rose gave his expression a grin- she didn't get the opportunity to see him speechless often- and pulled him away from the crowd behind the stall of a guy who sold tiny yellow motorbike-like contraptions.

This gave enough time for the Doctor to process what was happening. His frantic thinking went somewhere around the lines of "ROSE ROSE ROSE ROSE WHAT HOW WHAT WHAT HOW" in the beginning while he was being yelled at. Then they progressed to the more coherent " ROSE TYLER IS HERE?! BUT THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE! UTTERLY COMPLETELY WONDERFULLY IMPOSSIBLE" but then the darker parts of his timelord brain stopped having a coffee break and kicked logic into the mess "This is obviously an earlier version of Rose I am encountering, she has obviously just lost an earlier version of me around. But she looks different? Have I really started forgetting how she looks like? Ah… Need to take that easy, help her find the right me without making her realise that she is gone, but still, Rose Tyler…"

Apparently he had said the last part out loud, or at least her name, because she responded with a soft "Oh, no…"

"Rose, you…"

"Oh, this is bad…"

"Rose, listen…"

"You've lost your sonic screwdriver again, haven't you..."

"What?!"

"And your tie. How could you lose your tie like that! It was my favourite tie! But don't worry, we'll find them"

"Rose, I am sorry ,but- wait what?

"Don't try to talk your way out of this- I can recognise that broken puppy eyed expression anywhere- last time you made it you had lost your sonic. You can make another one, cheer up! I should be the one pissed off at ya right now, stop giving me those sad eyes."

"Rose Tyler, do I have to tell you to put your finger on your lips! Just listen! I haven't lost my sonic screwdriver, it is in perfect condition and safely tucked into my pocket and I even have a spare one back in the TARDIS in my second suit, where I keep it in case of emergencies. Now, the problem here is that you have lost me and I…um…lost you (a shadow passed through his face quite quickly but quick enough for Rose to register and her mouth was a perfect 'O' before he could even finish his dramatic speech) and you need to go and find me right now before a paradox of some sort pops up!"

After he finished he was going to look over her with his best patronizing expression and was just lifting his eyebrow up to complete the mask of annoyance ( although he was so happy to see her and only about 10 per cent of him were actively into making his façade while all the others were plotting to snatch her out of her time stream, to hell with the consequences, and have the best adventures ever, the Doctor in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler as it should be), when he was engulfed in the best hug he'd had in a very long time ( because, obviously, it included a Rose). So it was sort of a miracle that he heard her, being busy melting into a happy, albeit a bit self-hating at the moment, puddle of goo.

"Oh my God, Doctor, it's you!"

...xxx...

As the custom goes, this began with a very lost Rose Tyler in a very very crowded market place, visiting which was something the Doctor could not escape doing every few months as it was the only place to provide with necessary TARDIS parts in just the right colour. As it happens, this habit of his never really changed so in order to not encounter himself too much he had adopted the stealth and speed of a rabid ninja who's just finished 10 coffees and was thus really really hard to follow. A valid tactic, to be honest, but he seemed to be forgetting that they weren't on the right universe for it to matter. The place looked the same, a bit too much, she thought as she'd been there before ,but was only a parallel version of the real market and was thus currently a safe haven from paradoxes (paradoxi? Paradoxes? God he was rubbing off on her)

So there was Rose Tyler very lost and very annoyed because CLEARLY everybody else on this planet were at least 6 feet tall and the messy hair of her manic companion was impossible to see from where she was standing. And he had sped off like there was no tomorrow. Normally it would have been okay- but there was no real reason for it, except for the force of habit. And it hadn't been the best of days. It started out great enough, but then the TARDIS decided that great just wasn't good enough and fell through the vortex. At least it appeared to be a place the Doctor knew so he was quickly gathering the parts to fix the bloody ship and get on with the journey to a place with people who weren't so bloody tall all around. And in this wonderful mood she bumped right into him, and predictably she decided to have a go at him. And she did too, but nearly as much as he deserved- and he deserved it big time for this stunt. Only, he looked so very broken and apparently also confused because she saw happiness and grief jump in and out of his eyes at least 20 times before he finally had opened his mouth to start being coherent. And when he did it wasn't the hurried apology, she was expecting, but her name. And in such a tender and heart-broken way. Whoa. Something was beyond wrong with that picture. Soon she saw it in his face and in careful choice of words.

And apparently it wasn't the screwdriver this time.

It was the wrong universe.

At the wrong time.


	2. Donna

Not very far away another, much younger, Rose Tyler was also lost. She was also looking for her Doctor, whom she'd left huffing and puffing while trying to convince somebody that his leather jacket was not an insult to anybody's mother and therefore should not pay extra for the flux stabilisers and neither were his ears a cybernetic upgrade and were therefore were not for sale. She'd turned her back for two minutes and he was gone. So she went to try and excavate him from the mass of bodies that was the crowd of this market.

But who she found was none less but the very pissed off Donna Noble who was trying to haggle for a pretty necklace with very little success.

"How'd ya mean it's priceless! It ain't! I can see the plastic pieces from here, mate! It. Ain't. Flawless. Diamond!" – she waved the necklace with each sentence to make a better illustrated point, almost hitting this Rose on the nose.

"Yup, I wouldn't give more than…uhm…whatever Mrs. would give here."- narrowly escaped a necklace in the face again, Rose was already trying to help. But being the brilliant temp she is, Donna couldn't let some remark like that just slip.

"And you! How'd ya mean Missus? Do I look like a MISSUS?"

"No, no, of course not, I was just trying to-"

"To tell that bonehead of an alien here that he is wrong! And you are, mate, and you lost me as your cust-o-mer. You see that? It's me leavin'! Trying to sell rubbish like that, do I look like a bloody tourist!"

Neither the seller nor Rose were even making an effort to put a word edgewise- it was obviously futile. They couldn't possibly stop Donna. And that really was something as the seller had managed to save up for a sports hover car just from successful haggling and Rose was an experienced Doctor and Jackie silencer (which should be taught in at least one University somewhere as it is an invaluable and hard to find skill). So naturally Rose was quite impressed and followed the red head, who was rapidly retreating, turning to yell back "I'm gonna warn everybody about your dishonest practice? " and after a few steps "Don't you even think Imma come back!" and after a few more, incredibly still clearly understandable even through the hustle of the marketplace "What do ya take me for!".

When she finally caught up, she asked:

"Hey, I am sorry but, couldn't help but notice that you're not from around, uhm, _miss_…?"

"Donna. Donna Noble" – she nodded proudly –'I'm a time traveller."

"Are you a time agent? "

"Nah, just a temp…hold on, what's a time agent? Are you a time agent? "

"Uhm… so you a…freelancer?" – Rose carefully skipped past the question, but was quickly caught in the act.

"You could say that, but you still didn't answer my question. Who are you? "

"Oh, I just, sort of, travel. But I think you should meet my companion. "

Donna, being a feisty red head from London and on a planet filled exclusively with tall blue aliens and a time traveller seemed naturally a person who the Doctor needed to meet. She looked friendly enough to Rose, when not yelling her lungs off (well to be fair, everybody was yelling in this marketplace) but one can never know, what with the Slitheen and whatnot.

Donna , on the other hand, was thinking about that curious blond woman. Seemed like an investigator of some sorts, sure enough , asking questions which were none of her business and what were these time agents she was blabbering about? Is there such a thing? Was time travel even legal? It didn't seem like something that should be left to any old spaceman with a time machine to do…But the Doctor had mentioned that his TARDIS was the only one in existence. But he was sometimes wrong, wasn't he… And that woman didn't want to give her name. Definitely somebody the Doctor would love to become acquainted with, all mystery and a cockney accent. So what she came up with, after a second of judgemental stare was:

"No missy, I think it'd be better if we went on a little stroll to find my companion instead. "

Rose quickly went on the defensive. Perhaps that Donna was dangerous after all.

"Uhm, you should know that according to the…uhm…Shadow Proclamation…you have no right to take me, uh a citizen of the….universe? Yeah, you can't take me against my will anywhere, or you'll- "

Alright so that is not how a time agent should sound like, probably. Crisis averted.

"God, you sound just like him. It's alright, I don't know anything about that wretched Proclamation as well. So can't you just tell me your name and we can, I don't know grab a drink, swap time travellin' stories? And then we can meet up with the mystery companion and maybe you can pop up to say hi to the spaceman I'm travellin' with. That okay? Because you don't look like from around here, I can tell."

"What gave it away? Was it me not being blue or- "

"Not being blue. Big problem, blows me cover every time." – they both chuckled, it was quite nice to talk to somebody who was not an alien for a change.

"You travel a lot then?" Rose asked her as they continued walking.

"Oh, quite a bit, yeah. Seen all kinds of aliens and stuff, you are never going to believe half of it."

"Try me! I have seen my fair share too! Everything tends to get really weird real quick with the Doctor around…"

Donna didn't know whether she was surprised at all. On a planet full of technological gadgets where the Doctor was bound to end up more than once she had found a girl from Earth trying to quote the Shadow Proclamation. So of course she would be travelling with the Doctor. Maybe she was just like River Song…. Why didn't she recognise her? Where was Donna gone at the time of this blond… Wait she didn't even know her name!

"S-sorry, I didn't catch your name?" – blimey no need to stutter, Donna, she mentally berated herself.

" That's 'cuz I never said it. Rose Tyler. Nice to meet you." – Rose smiled and extended her arm towards the red head. She was going to keep her eyes peeled for now, well she had already let the fact that she travels with the Doctor slip , but Donna seemed nice enough . And fun for a chat while the Doctor was fishing for his spare parts.

And also apparently suddenly mute and dumbstruck.

Because Donna had just learned who she was talking to. And right now she wanted nothing more than to find the Doctor and show him who was no longer lost.


	3. Odd Numbered Doctors

Not 15 feet away, walking quickly past another row of stalls was a young person who didn't seem to be suffering from Donna's momentary inability to speak. On the contrary, he could easily be diagnosed with a severe inability to be unable to stop talking. Actually, he had considered whether that could be found a disability so that he could park wherever he wanted. But then again he could park wherever he wanted, so there was no real point in that. He would get an excuse to not get his hat shot off though. You can't go and shoot people's hats. That's just rude, especially if they are disabled. ESPECIALLY if said hat was a fez. Fezzes are cool.

Yes, he really was thinking that and he was also sporting a bowtie and suspenders and talking loudly and gesturing madly to the Ponds who were just behind him.

"So basically, they sell here, I kid you not, a clock which works in seven different timelines at the same time- and I do not mean seven different clocks, nooo, I checked I'll have you know. No it just sort of exists in a few dimensions at the same time, imagine a clockwork weeping angel, it gets quantum locked when you look at it so you can only see the time from one dimension at the same time, okay maybe not a clockwork weeping angel, that is a rubbish analogy, it gives me the creeps, actually, but you get the generally gist. Ooh, gist sounds cool, might have to use gist more often. So what is really mesmerising about it, okay mesmerising is quite a mouthful, but this watch really deserves that word, so what is mesmerising about it is that if you are really really careful sometimes, when you are lucky, you can even tell the time by it! Isn't that just amazing, Ponds?" - no answer greeted his overexcited rant.

"Ponds, I am telling you of the marvels of the universe and you aren't even listening, don't tell me you're kissing back there, that is just gross, if you get my gist. See, see, gist's such a great word!" – he stopped abruptly and turned around with a slight swirl.

"Pooonds, why must you always wander off!"- he looked left and right, a slightly exasperated expression creeping up on his youngish face. "And just when I had learned a great new word to play with, there is nobody around to listen!" – He grabbed a vaguely cowboy-ish hat from a stand next to him, threw a few coins to the seller, who caught them without even looking up, and jammed the hat onto his head all in one smooth motion. He turned quickly again, arms trailing slightly behind and took a step towards the supposed 'where the Ponds are' direction. And bumped head on into somebody walking quickly in the opposite direction with enough force for both bodies to bounce back and end up on their asses in the dust (it was rather a dusty planet).

"Well that is just bloody fantastic." – he said with all the sarcasm he could muster without actually choking on it. And it sounded quite cool. Even with that echo.

Wait what echo- the acoustics are just wrong for an echo. At this place. Also did he imagine the slight northern accent?

He looked up and discovered the very annoyed, leather-clad owner of the echo sitting just across form this time.

And he scrambled to make a quick escape from himself but was caught by the collar because the other he was having none of this.

"Now, mister idiotic hat, you better explain where you came from, because nothing says human like that bowtie of yours." – he said frowning and attempting to dedust a bit.

"You think? Ha! I'll have you know that bowties are cool, but I really must be off because I do not remember this. Crickey I may have imprinted on myself right there, what a mess…" – he said all the while making half-hearted tugs backwards, but he knew his past self had quite the grip so he wasn't necessarily going anywhere. His one hope was outtalking himself.

Hah, that would be fun.

"Well?"

"You really really wanna know?"


	4. One weird reunion

**_Heya, I might stop updating this for at least a week as I am quite busy, so please bear with me. In the mean time, here's another chapter. _**

* * *

Meanwhile, back behind a stall with yellow motorbikes, where the pair who met were very happy indeed to have done so and were just disentangling from the very tight hug (the part of the pair wearing the suit was discreetly wiping a few tears), some confusions were going to have to be cleared out.

"So I was right, it IS past Canary Wharf for you! Who are you travellin' with right now?" – Rose smiled once again as the Doctor tried to look as if he wasn't almost squeezing the life out of her a second ago. He was actually looking embarrassed, that was new!

"Uhm…you'd like her actually, she's got quite the gob, matches mine really, but we're just mates and.." – he started, scratching the back of his head. He was still very confused, but mostly happy and if he was right,"Oh, please, please, please, let me be right, give me just this", he thought, if he was right...

But wait a minute. The universe was never this nice to him – to guys plotting to rule some world- sure, it all worked out fine for them usually, unless he got involved, but when it got to the Doctor wanting something nice to happen- nope. So with his luck that was probably somebody using Rose to get information from him as per usual. He whipped out his sonic screwdriver and as casually as possible scanned the (oh let her be Rose) would be Rose, while he was talking.

"We just returned from a planet called Midnight, you'd love it there…"- he muttered, all the while waving the sonic at her as if he wasn't actually doing it on purpose, but was only using it to better illustrate his point.

And his thoughts were disrupted by Rose laughing at him. Rude! But then again, he never thought he'd hear that particular sound again, so he was willing to let it go and stop all his current thought process. It would probably hurt quite a bit if he turned out to be wrong, but that was alright.

"Yes, Doctor, very subtle, congratulations. I am not a Slitheen and I sincerely hope that my breath isn't that foul to make you think I might be. So, you mean Donna? Brilliant! Wait, did you say Midnight. Not so brilliant… In fact, horrible, come here!" – she hugged the very surprised Doctor who was at that moment peering at the results of his scan and was just about to mutter "Impossible!" , but instead just squeezed back for a second and when he pulled back again his face was an expression of exhilaration and amazement.

"Doctor, I am so sorry about Midnight – " – Rose started but was caught off guard by the complete opposite of what she was expecting to see. She expected a broken haunted expression, the same her Doctor got every time he mentioned that particular adventure, but was met with absolute unadulterated joy. "- well you sure got over it real fast, didn't you! Uhm, that's great, I suppose…"

"Rose Tyler! This is absolutely impossible and amazing. Brilliant! Just, just - brilliant! Never you mind Midnight, I am going to find you! Because it is obvious that you aren't my Rose, but you are a future Rose in this universe! And- to make it even better- you were yelling at me! Well, that wasn't exactly great, but you know, at least you didn't slap me, I still have horrible nightmare about that Jackie slap, I never really. .." – now he was practically jumping around-

"Doctor, you are rambling. Back to the point…"

"Yes the point, that great pointy point! The point is that, from what I can deduce, like the genius I am, is that I am going to meet you again. And, here comes the best part, if I say so myself- Midnight!"

He was positively beaming. Good thing for the respiratory bypass, a normal person should have fainted by now. Actually Rose's Doctor had once come quite close to doing so- he'd had to sit down and was absolutely baffled, until she reminded him that breathing was something sometimes required, even when doing other more important stuff, like ranting.

"Okay, you lost me."

"Midnight, Rose! Me being the wonderful, genius Timelord that I am, don't usually dwell on such horrible experiences for a long time, or at least I start seeing them in a new, more inspiring light soon!"(or something else horrible happens so in order to avoid insanity he just concentrates on the latest in the line, but he wasn't going to say that out loud) The fact that I've told you, well… I suppose you would have found out sooner or later, can't keep any secrets from the amazing Rose Tyler, it's physically impossible for me, you know, but what's important is that you were expecting me to react badly to this, you were expecting a particular expression and when you did not see it you were surprised! Ha! I love that little frowny face you do when you are surprised or confused… Anyway! If the me you know had reacted badly when talking about Midnight, that means that I find you very very soon! And that is just- well , unbelievable frankly, hence the scan!" – all of that left his mouth particularly fast, assisted by wild gestures and accompanied with the proper facial expressions, making quite a sight. 900 year old hyper kid, Rose thought.

"Right, very very close, but no cigar. As they say. Yeah, actually I found you, and you looked pretty surprised when I did, so I guess you're going to have to forget all of these deductions. Otherwise- good work, there, Sherlock!" – she said, grinning widely and patted his hair, like he was a puppy. Which must have been quite the sight because, even if he looked like a happy kid ready to explode with bouncy energy at the moment, he was still quite a bit taller than her, so she had to stretch.

Ah, yes, so it had been quite the sight, as it was quickly confirmed by a very amused Donna snort from near by.

"Okay, first- how many of you are there! Second – I was expecting huggin' and kissin' but this is just too much! Seriously would you look at that!" – Donna turned to younger Rose, pointing at the pair before them, trying to sound scandalised, but was laughing in between sentences so hard, that she knew for sure she'd have pains in her abdominal muscles in the morning. And the identical expressions on both Roses were not helping. Like at all.

Neither was the fact that the Doctor was standing with his hands on his waist, like he'd just won the nobel prise for inventing a banana flavoured pear, chest all puffed up and et cetera and the older Rose's hand in his hair, the latter standing almost on her tip toes to reach. All of that complemented with a jaw slack open and eyes darting left right up and down while his mind was probably going a thousand miles an hour.

Oh this was so much better than what she'd expected to see a few minutes ago. Granted, it was much more confusing as well.


	5. A few minutes ago (part 1)

_**Okay so here's a quick one and I am back to not being there**_

* * *

And this is what had been happening a few minutes ago:

Donna had recovered from her gobsmacked state and had grabbed Rose's hand and started running in the general direction of the TARDIS- it was going to be next to impossible to find the Timelord in this mess of a market.

Rose had found that the hand that was in Donna's hand was suddenly running in some direction and as her arm was still attached to her hand (but not for long at that pace), she felt compelled to follow it, expressing her confusion at the happenings as so:

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, HAVE YOU GONE OUT OF YOUR MIND!"

"Listen, Rose! I know the Doctor!" – Donna huffed back.

"So? Half the freaking universe probably knows the Doctor, he sorta stands out ya know! By saving the day like three times a day!" – Rose had started running as well- "If you're trying to kidnap me, It's not gonna end well!"

"Are you bonkers? Kidnap you?! I am reuniting you!" –Donna emphasised, still running. As if it wasn't obvious.

"What?! "

"Re-u– " – the red head started, but was beginning to run out of breath, so she stopped gradually and turned around to face Rose to present her plan in a more organised way and gather her breath again. Rose, on the other hand, didn't seem to bothered by the running – she was used to it. So she utilised the pause to massage her wrist and throw suspicious glances at Donna.

Who, having finally gathered enough oxygen to speak again, continued, surprise evident in her voice:

"Don't you wanna see him?"

"Of course I do, but do we have to be running?" – this got Donna confused even more. She had envisioned the old-school 'run towards each other, cry/kiss/confess undying love reunion and there Rose was, finally back from being lost, acting surprisingly cool about it. Cool? More like a bloomin' iceberg! Was there something wrong? Anyway that wasn't going to stop her from bringing the lost Rose back. The Doctor had been through so much .Too much, in fact, especially recently and he deserved this the very least, so..

Before her thoughts got any further a young couple casually strolled towards them and stopped a few metres away eyeing Donna and Rose.

"Look at that, they look just like humans! Weeeird idea of human fashion sense though…"- the young woman said in a slight Scottish accent, nudging her husband in the ribs. (both Donna and Rose, being expert gossipers and used to having to spot tiny little details for the Doctor who was always absorbed in the bigger picture, in Donna's case to the point of walking out of the TARDIS in a mismatched suit and occasionally only wearing his boxers, saw the wedding rings right away)

"Uhm, yes. Now. Can we just go? " – muttered the husband, clearly uncomfortable under the matching glares from the blond human and the red-headed human. Only to receive a third glare, again from a red-head, only from a really, really close distance as well.

"You big wuss!"

"Uhm, sorry. I just don't think you should be this rude to people who can uhm.. understand and, hear what you are saying." – the husband pointed out and then turned to the pair in front of him- "Sorry!"

"It happens to the best of us, I guess?" – Rose offered, baffled- what was it with the amount of humans on this market all of a sudden. Was it always like this? Or was it like a special holiday where they all crawled out, like humanukah or something. And most importantly who were those particular humans and why did they look like they were from the 21st century Earth as well?

"Yeah, sorry, just jokin'! Haha, we better be off! Off you go, Rory" – the young woman said and started practically pushing the Rory away before anyone could react. And then they both walked away so fast, they practically ran off.

Donna and Rose only shared a glance before taking off after them.

Donna didn't even get to ask what was meant by 'weird fashion sense'.

Fortunately for her they didn't have to run far this time because they soon lost the Rory and Wife in the crowd. But it wasn't all for naught as the moment they stopped , they both heard familiar voices.

What Donna heard was the voice of her Doctor midway into an overexcited rant.

What Rose heard, causing her to frown was, well, her own voice. Not coming from out of her own mouth.

This day was not becoming any simpler, she decided, as she was pulled behind one of the nearby stalls by the madly grinning redhead.


	6. Pond-ering

_**And I am back! Story should get better from there on, sorry for the massive delays and probably mediocre chapter... **_

* * *

What also happened a few minutes ago was that Rory and Wife had just escaped from the exceptionally weird chasers only to crash straight into their next portion of strangeness. And boy oh boy, if weirdness was a dish, they'd probably need to have what they couldn't eat packed for home. And even then they'd be set for a week ahead, Amy thought.

Just like that one time with The Lasagne. Rory thought , and Amy knew exactly where his thoughts were going because hers were on the way there. They shared a shiver.

What they had crashed straight into, to be more precise, was a youngish man in a suit and very confused expression. He didn't seem bothered by the fact that he was nearly knocked to the floor by the collective Ponds, but instead grabbed hold of Rory's shoulders for dear life, stared with his brown eyes right into Rory's soul and asked, slowly and with emphasis on every word:

"Are there any zeppelins in London?"

This sounded like quite the trick question, so Rory ventured for:

"What?!" - he looked for help from Amy, but none as available as she was currently staring at the strange man with an intense expression (perhaps still thinking of the nightmarish lasagne.)

Meanwhile the stranger decided to clear up confusion in his question in the traditional way: by repeating it louder.

"Are there. Any zeppelins. In London. " – The man was getting quite impatient with the obvious incompetence in this conversation.

"What. Do. You. Mean. " – two could play at this game and Rory, the great nurse he was, was trained and had all the skills to actually win. So he took it a step further.

"Who are you? Why do you want to know about some…zeppelins? In London? Why ask us. And over and above all- why are you not blue."- said Rory while the man, who had just let go of Rory's shoulders after it became evident that he wouldn't co-operate, was walking in tight circles nervously pulling on his earlobe, clearly beginning to panic.

"Well? Are there?"

"No! But why ask us?!" –he gestured towards himself and Amy who was verging on staring at the suited person.

"Ohh, I dunno. Maybe because you would know? Being humans from the 21st century on another planet in the 31st century… So definitely no zeppelins?"

"No, sorry. "

"Not even little ones?" – the man said hopefully.

"No. Bargaining for the size isn't going to help, I would imagine. " – and there went the best Rory exasperated voice he could spare. Why wasn't Amy helping, usually she would handle the rude people by, well, being Amy.

"And you wouldn't happen to have heard of Pete Tyler? "

"N- look who are you?"

"Doesn't matter. But I am in so much trouble…aaah…" – the mad circling stopped abruptly and the man scratched his neck nervously, while obviously hard at thought at something. So much in fact that his lips were moving. Then he suddenly snapped out of it, said "Sorry! Gotta go find Rose" and turned to stride away from the pair. Until, suddenly, but you know, better than never, Amy decided to contribute to the conversation:

"Doctor?"

That stopped the man dead in his tracks.

"It is you, isn't it! Never seen you like this, but Timelords can regenerate, like River did, remember, Rory? Your eyes though. They're just the same."

Rory was even more confused now. The strange person, however, turned very very slowly.

"River Song? Professor River Song? You know her?" – he asked carefully.

"Know her! I am her mum! And you, mister, are my son in law!" - Amy exclaimed triumphantly.

"Weeell….. Does this…Doctor….you are talking about….uhm. Would he happen to have two hearts, by any chance?"

"Yes, of course, you giant child! What are you playing at, have you not counted your own hearts or something?! How old are you?!"

"Amy, I am not so sure that this is the Doctor. You might be giving out information about him to the wrong person . He does have quite a lot of enemies you know… "- Rory interrupted, checking his hands as discreetly as possible to make sure there weren't in fact already surrounded by Silence.

"Don't be daft, you stupid head! Look at him!"

"Ah." – The 'Doctor's 'hand was tugging at his ear again. "Look, Amy was it? Look, Amy. Stupid Head here is right. Well. Sort of. Well! Ish. You see, I am 915, I am the Doctor, but also not your Doctor. Well, I am, but only his past. You mentioned regeneration, yeah? When I regenerated last time, I sort of, well, split. And one me is the one you know, who is fully Timelord and the other me is, fortunately, this me and also sporting only one heart and I am completely mortal. And this me is in the wrong universe altogether and I should really be heading back, so…Wait. What do you mean River regenerated?!"

"Uhm. Spoilers, Doctor." – was Amy's absentminded response while she was trying to assimilate what had been shot at her at a 100 words per minute. And all Rory could say was the belated and very affronted:

"Stupid Head?!"

"You. "- he pointed at Rory and turned to Amy again- "And you were not even listening, were you! These are not spoilers, as I am a parallel Doctor!"

"Yeah? Still not telling you! Go and ask yourself! UUh, that sounded weird. "

"Whyy?"- he almost whined, made another nervous circle and turned to the pair again. "Wait, am I here? I mean I am obviously here, but is other-me here? I mean, he would be, as you are here, but.. Oh! You are his mother in law?! He travels with his mother in law?! How domesticated is that!"

"Doctor"- Amy knew these were the introductory sentences to a Doctor Ramble and wanted to stop it before it grew into another idea for a sonic toaster. His face was different but she simply did not want to take any chances.

"Wait, does that mean he has married River? River?! He married? He actually got married?! Blimey! That's a load off! He must've changed quite a lot to do that though. You didn't recognise me initially, so regenerated as well. But- "

"Doctor!" – she insisted. It must have worked because his ramble cut off abruptly, he got the 'I am about to make a decision, not by my choice, which is going to cost a few thousand people their lives but save a few million' face (not to be confused with 'you just insulted my hat' face, which, to be fair, was really similar) her Doctor sometimes got. Suddenly, matters had become really really serious. Amy steadied herself as this Doctor opened his mouth to explain the serious matter (About time too)

"Am. I. Ginger? "

"What?!" – both Ponds answered. Which was annoying because the Doctor thought his question had been simple enough.

"How does parallel me look like? Handsome? I bet he's handsome. No, no! I don't want him to be handsome, that would be problematic. Old? Young?"- okay, so he had just been taking a tiny break in the ramble for dramatic effect. Amy wasn't having any of that.

"Doctor! Would you just listen for like ten seconds! We need to find our Doctor, and then you'll find out yourself, ask him what you will and go back to your parallel universe! Okay?"

He opened his mouth to respond to that (or perhaps to just carry on talking) but was interrupted by Rory's hand on his mouth.

"Yes or no answer. In fact, just nod. Okay?"

There was some amount of indignant mumbling from beneath the hand and a really judgemental glare from the Doctor as a response.

"Tut-tut-t ut. Yes or no! You can't scare us with your Oncoming Storm glare, no. " – and that was Amy, joining forces with Stupid Head. And he had liked her so much initially. Finally, he gave up and nodded. She had a point but that didn't mean he had to like it. Anyway- he needed to get to the TARDIS and staying here with a hand on his face was not helpful at all.

"Good." – Rory let go of the Doctor's face and the group went on towards a TARDIS (whichever was the closest), walking by all sorts of interesting shops selling from flowers to gadgets and was that a stall full of yellow motorbikes they just walked past?! Blimey. The stuff people sold these days. And bought apparently- there was quite the crowd nearby the stall chattering very loudly. And was that? No couldn't be. Sounded like Donna, but that was just the Doctor's ears playing tricks on him again. At least this time round they weren't so big as well.


	7. Doctor's Creed : Revelations

_**Okay struggling to find time for this, but there we go. Sorry if 9 is a bit darkish, he is still quite early on in season 1. I'd say somewhere after Downing street but before Father's Day. If I mention Jack later- it would be because I have forgotten what I am writing and I am sorry. Just ignore me, I am a busy person. Also when I say 'recent doctor' and 'older doctor' that's 11. I should really start using their numbers. **_

* * *

Meanwhile the current proud owner of the big ears and the perhaps-not-so-proud owner of the big chin were about to find out just how much trouble they were all in. The hatted doctor had started explaining.

'Okay, grumpy pants, I am you. But I can't remember any of this so what we do now is find Rose and find the Ponds and then I get myself, and by myself I mean you, or in other words – my past self- a full memory erase of this place. Which, of course, would explain how I got here in the first place, because both I and I know that I am not so stupid. Or maybe I did it on purpose! See, because I remembered meeting myself and-"

"That. Is bollocks." The leather- clad doctor interrupted and leant in, just for that nice little extra effect, smiling widely (a bit too much like a crocodile really). The older Doctor suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable next to this version of himself. Although he was usually the first to break into random people's personal space ( a bit of a hobby that was, really) and was the one feared across the universe, he actually felt intimidated by his own battle-scarred image. Perhaps it was quite early on for him, Rose hasn't had the time to fix him yet.

The other Doctor continued, smiling but his tone bitter:

"You. Are a joke. Like straight out of a kids book. And I- am not a joke, on the contrary. (he stopped every so often, just to make sure the weirdo was getting all that) I am very impressive, so clearly I am not you, and if you knew who I was , if you knew what I have been through and if you knew what I am capable of – then you would KINDLY shove off." But the weirdo hadn't budged an inch.

"Go on. Shoo. Go and buy yourself another hat. And do the world a favour. " – he leaned in even more to be able to whisper in his older self's much smaller ear (why was the world so unfair with him this regeneration)- "Burn that bowtie."

Okay enough was enough. The older Doctor whispered a response.

A response which made the Doctor in a jacket make five hasty steps back, open-mouthed and to mutter:

"You are kiddin' me."

"We've had worse. Besides- I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, I'll say it again. Bowties are cool. Now!"- the recent incarnation jumped in excitement and brought his hands together in a clap- "As I said, we are lucky that nothing has exploded, imploded or just generally something-ploded yet. But- it should have! I touched myself" – this got the other Doctor, who unlike under usual circumstances was listening quite carefully, to raise his eyebrows way into his hairline before the bowtie-owner realised that there was a problem with his pronouns – "I mean past me and current my came into contact. Did I use to be dirty minded? Bad Doctor! Anyway! Somebody has a paradox machine and we need to find it and find it. To the Doctor Mobile!"

This got just the general, generic look of disapproval from the other Doctor.

"No? Doctors away? Still no? Blimey, I was so boring! What did Rose see in me back then, cheer up! Oh, right ,where's she so that we can go and fix that mess before the universe get ripped apart?"

"Ah." – okay, that stopped his enthusiasm quite quickly. It was the 'I made a mistake but I'll try to fix it before I have to admit it' kind of situation that both Doctors dealt with on such a regular basis.

"What. Have you lost her or something? " – it was more of a rhetorical question really, but the irony still stung.

"She keeps wanderin' off. Went off somewhere in that direction while I was haggling. I keep tellin' her but she never listens!" – there we go, whiny voice with northern accent. So that's how it sounded from the point of view of another person. And the sentiment was so familiar.

"That she did. Wander off. Hah!" – the older Doctor smiled. Reminiscing. Now That was a nice word, he'd have to use it more often, too. They started walking in that general direction.

"What do you mean 'did'. Have You lost her?" – there was the Oncoming storm glare in the leather-clad Doctor's eyes. ('what a hypocrite I am', he thought. And then he stopped, thought that sentence over, didn't feel like getting angry at himself just at this moment and decided to change it to 'what a hypocrite I will be') But that was alright. As long as she was alright, or just wandered off again. Maybe he had returned her because of a dangerous situation that caused him to regenerate. It was all fine as long as she was-

"She's alive and well. Fantastic really, you know- Rose Tyler. Just not here."

It was quite strange to look at his own eyes. Both Doctors could see such tired eyes in front of themselves. One just returned from the Time War, presented with yet another disappointment (he had expected it really, should have been happy that she is alright but..). And the other- so much more grief, which looked strangely emphasised by the young face.

"On Earth then? With Mickey the Idiot?"

"Parallel…world. I know- 'It's impossible' – it's not. You do it a couple of times. But never by our desire. She's stuck there. But she's happy."

Well, he was right, because for a person stuck in a parallel universe she was doing a great job laughing her ass off somewhere nearby. Nope, never mind, that was just past tense Rose. Apparently behind that motorbike stall. The Doctor's disappeared behind it to get her and continue on their way.

Well then! it wasn't just past tense Rose who was there.


	8. Pyrulian fish impersonations

**_Aand hi again peoplez. This came out like a huge lump of a chapter and I shall be splitting it, this being the first chunk of it. It's quite late so sorry 'bout any mistakes I make!_**

* * *

In fact what the two Doctors saw in the quite oblivious of the new arrivals group was quite different.

What the oldest Doctor saw was himself, circa Donna-time (he wasn't quite such a depressed clot as recently before, as rude as always and incredibly happy to see Rose right now, smiling with a happy twinkle in his eyes). What he also saw was a Rose and another Rose, younger and confused. She was staring at her older self, awkwardly giggling, while her older self was in full on hysterics leaning on Donna, who was barely breathing from laughter herself. He also saw big big trouble. Too many generations of the same person were there. Well, in his case, 1 of him was enough to attract heaps of horribleness towards him, his current companions and often his hat, which he swiftly took off and hid behind his back.

What the youngest Doctor saw was Rose and some new pretty boy of hers and a couple of other people who were laughing on the side, but he didn't pay that much attention to them. He was a man with a mission and had a much more important mission than those human trivialities.

And his mission was to find just who this new pretty face was. He stepped forward.

"So who is this then? Another pretty boy? You really do accumulate them, Rose. Before you ask- he's not coming." – he interrupted them, gruff northern accent slicing through the laughter like only a gruff northern accent could. He got stares from everywhere around him, but wasn't going to let go of his prey. But the prey didn't behave very prey-ish. In fact he was trying very very hard not to snicker, which could be quite annoying if you've had to destroy whole civilisations and then there's this man-slut who is close to pissin' his pants(from laughter) under your glare of death. Rose looked vaguely relieved by the appearance of the Doctor, but still extremely confused and she voiced that, saying:

"Nobody I've met, Doctor, and I have no idea what is going on. Seriously, I don't even know his name!"

"And you're not gonna find it out for years. " – the older Rose interrupted, finally claiming the attention of the leather-clad Doctor to herself and the redhead. The latter stared for just a bit, taking in the attire, the baffled/worried/pissed off combination found in his expression, complete with a mouth just slightly open (like he'd had something witty to say but had forgotten it while his mouth was getting into preparatory position) as well as the general abundance of ears and nose in that version of the Doctor and started shaking with laughter once more. The older Doctor, still out of sight, was luckily too busy soaking up his favourite faces to enquire what she had meant. Rose smiled widely and waved at his youngest version:

"Hi, Doctor, sorry to interrupt your timeline. I'm just from the future, passing by, really, won't be long."

The leather-clad Doctor just blinked really really slowly and carefully. Opened his mouth once or twice, much like a flying fish from the planet Pyrulia, only without being able to fly. Or being a fish at all. Then again like the above-mentioned fish, he just raised his hands in utter resignation and left them to fall with a soft thump back to his sides. (something those fish did when they felt like they just couldn't take another word of the useless banter of the shopkeeper at the corner who always feeds the stray cat-fish of the neighbourhood) He reminded the most recent version of the Doctor quite a lot of Rory at the moment.

This little gesture was all it took to give Donna, who had bravely just regained some level of coherence and attention, another fit of laughter and break the suited Doctor's defence down completely as he lost it as well. One Rose was looking still very confused, but she took the chance to step back next to her Doctor, the other laughing with the Doctor-Donna duo and thus the bowtie Doctor decided to use the opportunity to step a bit out of sight and wait for 9 to get to grips with the situation. (yes he really just called himself 9, now that there were three of the same person at the same time number of regeneration was the only way to keep things from going from incredibly complicated and dangerous to the level of a Pyrulian fire-swallowing chess judo. And if it really came to that it would become really bloody really quickly as all versions of him were quite good at that. Except in the round with the mops, he nearly always screwed that up. He'd left a whole forest of notes to himself to ask Rory for some lessons, but never really got round to it).

By the time Donna finally gained some breath, one hand on old Rose's shoulder, and stood up almost propped up against the blonde, the oldest of the Doctors there had stood a few paces back and appeared to be browsing the stall of yellow bicycles and made quiet non-committed voices of approval under his nose of the things he saw there. He was also quite out of sight as the youngest of the Doctors was standing in front of him, still impersonating a leathery fish.

"Doctor!" – Donna managed to say. The leathery fish's eyes became fixed on her.

"Oh my God, that really is you isn't it! Jesus, when I asked you if you ever change, I never knew you'd take the joke so far! Look at those eaars!" – she pointed at the offending body parts- "You gave Space Dumbo a whole new meaning!" – laughter was engulfing her speech, threatening to make her incoherent again. "I mean. You can probably flyyy."- she emphasised the last bit by flapping her hands a little bit, before she had to clutch her stomach and concentrate on not falling over while laughing. Young Rose joined in as well, because you can't not laugh when complete strangers are joking about the Doctor's ears and he is rendered speechless. This moment would probably be forever etched in history as a unique occurrence. And besides the faces he was making.

And all 'the pretty boy' managed to get out to contribute to the dialogue was:

"Like a fish!" – of course he was referring to the Pyrulian type, but only he got his own joke (all three versions of him got it though, which caused his current self to actually have to wipe a few tears from his face, gleefully shaking, grateful for his respiratory bypass; his older self to snicker, perhaps not even quietly but nevertheless hidden under Rose and Donna's collective roaring; and his youngest self to close his mouth and furrow his eyebrows, reaching into his jacket). The inadequacy of that statement had all three non-gallifreyans lose it even more if that was even possible. The first to recover was young Rose.

"Okay, okay, okay , guys? I feel a bit left out of the joke, yeah? Is this really future me?" – she said getting her older self to straighten up quite quickly and nod, suddenly very serious.

"Yes. And we are into a lot of trouble. Try not to come near me, and don't touch me, that might cause a paradox. Last time it didn't work out very well, so really try, yeah? Time is really weakened here as it is. We've caused enough problems by messin' with our time streams, which frankly I didn't think was possible at all." – her older self said, Torchwood agent taking the wheel . Sensing the atmosphere had gotten a bit tenser, with suited- Doctor looking positively impressed and perhaps a little sad (perhaps he understood her reference), leather-clad Doctor serious and with his sonic screwdriver already in hand , and Donna and her young self looking like she'd spontaneously become a very respectable pink elephant (unexpected almost to the level to the absurd, but very respectable nevertheless) she added- "Oh, and please cut down the chips. It will pay off if you do, I promise. Well you're not gonna remember this by the end of our little encounter, hopefully, but it might stay on in your subconscious. Like a subliminal message."

Right, he had had his doubts beforehand while she was laughing as she looked positively the same, but now he could be certain, the youngest Doctor thought and frowned. This couldn't be Rose. She sure looked the same and had many of the same mannerisms, same speech patterns, but any basic shape-shifting life form could do that if they were clever enough. And this one sounded like quite smartass. But he wasn't fooled- the Rose he knew wouldn't sound so much like a soldier, admittedly like a good leader, too ( he quite liked that) but the point still stood. That wasn't Rose and that much was true. Besides his older self had said it himself- she was in a parallel world. He had the feeling he didn't want to know how she got there, but, all the same, that meant she wasn't here. r So, as he stepped carefully towards her , locked in her intense gaze, he decided to find out who that was by scanning her or it or whatever with the screwdriver.

Might as well.


	9. Introductions

_**There ya all go, but be warned, might be a while before the next bit.**_

* * *

And there went another Doctor checking her if she was real, Rose thought. Gotta buy new mouth wash, definitely, she didn't want to keep getting mistaken for a Slitheen. Banana maybe, mint wasn't really working, apparently. He had a point in checking, but the whole situation became very awkward as everybody stood in complete silence while he scanned her up and down. As he took a look at the results, she put her arms on her waist and started thumping her foot on the ground impatiently. The other Doctor was much quicker at this!

The said other Doctor saw that and he put his hands deep in his pocket. If Rose was finding it hard to wait, then they really were in trouble. He had to find out, he needed to find out and he was Not going to lose her again. He changed his weight from foot to foot and looked at her. She looked the same but still, changed so much. A proper soldier….Was that his fault?

As the leather-clad Doctor restarted the scan, unhappy with the result he got after about 3 minutes of silent waiting, Donna really couldn't take that any longer.

"Oi! Dumbo! Stop bleepin' 'er!" – she yelled gaining a full on Stormy Gaze but that didn't stop Donna. Nothing could stop Donna when she had something to say- "It's obviously 'er! Can't you tell! Well you probably can't, all that nose business you got there gettin' in the way of your sight or something, but the other you can! Trust yourself, if you don't 'er! Although, from what I've heard you probably should trust her more than yourself! You. Bloody Martian! Stop looking at me like I've eaten the last banana, you know what I am talkin'about!"

"Donna…!" – the suited- doctor warned her.

"No, don't you Donna me! Its nobody else's fault that you were this stupid! You! Stupid! That's you in the past, right? A. Moron." – her Doctor opened his mouth to reply, but shut it up quickly. He was never going to hear the end of this and he knew it. Young Rose looked vaguely uncomfortable- what did she mean ' you in the past '? Parallel Rose was just smiling, but the youngest Doctor looked struck.

This woman dared calling him out. And she was right. He was really stupid, wasn't he. The results from the second scan were still the same and he couldn't bend his head to believe what he was seeing , although he had met with the impossible so many times. And if there were two Roses, and two Doctors (where had that joke of an incarnation gone, actually) -at least two, he amended himself because something was bothering him in the eyes of the pretty boy and what the woman had said about him, if the second Rose was right, he had really wasted valuable time. He was just about to apologise when young Rose said:

"Doctor. What did your scans say?"

"It really is you. I am sorry…" – this earned him another mouth-gape from young Rose who weakly waved at her old self. The latter burst into one of her biggest grins, waved back, clapped her hands and exclaimed:

"Right! Now that that's sorted I think introductions are finally in order! When those two arrived I never really had the time to explain what was going on before you burst in on us. Firstly we have the ninth incarnation of the Doctor, wearing the leather jacket and- "

"The ears." – suited-doctor interrupted her.

"Oi! Don't scoff the ears! I really liked them!"- Rose continued, earning the first proper 9th Doctor smile in the conversation and subsequently earning him a light hit on the shoulder by young Rose telling him "Shut up!"

"So to the left in the semi- heavy weighted category we have the ninth Doctor, that is what I will refer to him as from now on. To my right, in the amazing hair and slightly dorky suit you will find the 10th incarnation of the Doctor."

"In the very very very light weight category"- Donna added.

"Yeah, please don't box." –Rose said.

"Heeey." "Shut up, you could hide behind a needle, and there would be enough space for another of you" – Donna and her Doctor started but their light banter was interrupted by the serious tone of the ninth Doctor-

"So this- twig- is a future version of me?!"- he said,' twig' being seeped with so much disapproval that the tenth Doctor jumped to his defence- "At least I have hair!" "Oh, biig whoop, since when have looks been important in my book!" "Since I had them!"

"Boys! Stop."- young Rose interrupted, because Donna and her older version were just standing there looking amused and not doing anything. This shut up both her Doctor and the person who claimed to be him immediately.

"Okay, fine! But I don't know whether to believe you are my next incarnation, you amateur."

"Fine! The first thing we said to her " – he said pointing at young Rose – "The very first thing in that basement. It was run."- he said, imitating his own northern accent for the last word so it came out more as 'Ron'. If that had been enough to make Rose believe it was him, it should be enough to him as well. Who knows, maybe he'll decide to use it because of this situation without realising it. When he registered the look of amazement on young Rose's and his young self's faces he smiled triumphantly.

"Okay, that was a bit on the cheesy side?" – Donna muttered- "What he said to me was 'WAT.'" – she said imitating his expression." He looked like his younger self did a few minutes ago! Should've made a picture really."

This earned her a high-five from older Rose- "Ooh, he never mentioned that! But I have some pictures of him doing the exact same face, gotta show them to you some day!"

"No, no, no, you two, please don't start." – tenth Doctor looked mortified which made both women start laughing once more.

"Yes, do you mind?"- 9th doctor chipped in, finally silencing them as he turned to older Rose, his tone now disbelieving – "You were there for my regeneration?"

"Yep!" – she replied, popping the p. Something she had picked up from her own Doctor. The tenth incarnation noticed that and quickly forgot she and Donna had been poking fun at him two seconds ago. In fact he looked positively chuffed.

"Hold on, what is a regeneration?"- young Rose interrupted, finally getting to grips with the fact that she was talking with herself AND she wasn't locked up in some mental asylum at the same time.

"Yes, I second that! How come, if you are the same person, and you clearly are – you daft Spacemen- how come one has gigantic ears and one has sticks for limbs?"

"Doonnaa – " 10th Doctor started but was interrupted by older Rose. Nobody was going to let him finish a sentence nowadays, were they.

"No, no, no, explain Doctor. You never did when you had to, to me, and I was scared beyond my wits you big lump! I thought you had died!" Rose had forgiven him a long time ago, but he needed to learn from his mistakes in the future. Perhaps he would remember this and his future companions would not have to fall in the comatose Doctor throwing fruit at aliens situation.

Meanwhile the Doctor wasn't liking all the undue hostility. Well that was just great, everybody was looking at him as if HE was the one to blame. He could even feel the judgemental glare of his own eyes, and that was really annoying. So he started explaining.

"Weell, basically, when a Timelord is close to dying, we have this little trick we use to cheat death. Every cell in our body changes, so we end up in a new body. But still completely the same person inside- only the physical aspects change. " – he shrugged, as if it was as normal a physiological process as going to the toilet. But after about ten seconds of silence the only response he got from anybody was Donna's:

"You. Are. Bonkers." – Rose laughed at that, because she knew Donna would be using it in another situation fairly soon. Which was comedy gold. She could only imagine…

Young Rose didn't appreciate the joke (well she didn't know the joke and she wouldn't for quite a few years), but she stepped forward to the tenth Doctor and said quietly:

"So this is still you then. " "Yep!" – now he was the one to pop the p, which didn't escape Donna's attention, but she filed it for later use of making fun of him. This moment seemed too private.

Young Rose placed both hands on his hearts to confirm he still had two hearts, left them there for about five seconds and then slapped him with the famous Jackie slap.

"Ooouch! What was that for!"

"Not telling me!"

"You know now!"

"No! Not tellin'me in the future! What, do you expect us people who travel with you to be expert timelord biologists?"

"Look I am sorry. I am so so sorry" – and he really did look like he was – "I never thought I'd need it."

The broken expression tamed young Rose's momentary anger and she felt quite guilty for slapping a future version of her Doctor. Virtually a stranger!

Old Rose, on the other hand, was again on the verge of laughter and seemed to have developed mind reading abilities because she immediately said to herself "Don't worry luv, he is still the same man and he deserved it!"

"Sorry for that"- the younger one said to the Doctor, who was wiping his cheek with something like amazement. He had forgotten the full force of a Jackie slap! His younger version had flinched as well- ooh, it was still fresh for him. "Nice hair though. How long do you spend in front of the mirror a day?"

Oh, great, now she was teasing him too. This was going to be a very long day!

Donna took up the challenge –

"Ten to twenty hours a day unless he is depressed and sulking somewhere or too busy risking his life to save important species like the Cheesemuck maggots."

"Heey, they have the right to live, who knows what wonderful civilisation would arise from them!"- and off went his whiny voice again. The younger version of him, surprisingly, was just nodding in agreement. Everybody should know that Cheesemuch maggots are wonderful creatures!

The women laughed together at that. Young Rose supplying:

"You really haven't changed, have you." To which Older Rose replied-

"Yes, though he does tend to talk quite a lot more. Back to the point, Doctor! We still haven't finished introductions. Finally, this is Donna, best temp in Chiswick, your best mate, always there when you need her most, and a great professional at exposing what a complete fool you really are. Don't gimme that look! I know you, mister 'always carry a banana in my pocket'!"

Donna, at the unexpected bout of flattery decided to change the subject. And there was the perfect way, as there was something there had been bothering for the past few minutes of the conversation. Nobody in the whole wide universe should ever be as interested in yellow bikes as the lad in the bowtie over there. A bowtie! Of all things! That just stunk of fishiness.

"Yes, well, there we go. But we still haven't finished. Oi, you! Who the heck are you!"


	10. And please give a round of facepalms

_**Whoops, this one is a short one. I'll try to do at least two more this weekend.**_

* * *

_"Yes, well, there we go. But we still haven't finished. Oi, you! Who the heck are you!"_

The suspicious bowtie wearer turned as Donna called him out. He looked behind him, turned back around and looked at the red head with a quizzical expression. Oh, how had he missed annoying Donna Noble.

"You, Bowtie boy!" – at that he looked down at his bowtie, up to Donna again, held her eyes for a few seconds… and then his gaze fell once again back to the bowtie as if to check whether it would fit the description or if indeed it hadn't gone somewhere in the few moments he lost it from sight.

By now everyone else was also staring at him. Young Rose and the 10th Doctor were looking quite amused at these antics, older Rose had a thoughtful expression on, as if she was weighing the stranger up, Donna was gaping with exasperation and the 9th Doctor was stuck in a permanent facepalm.

Finally, really slowly, he raised his left hand up, towards the bowtie with the index finger extended and pointed to himself. He did that so carefully that it looked like his hand was creeping up on him. Mouthing to Donna 'Me?', he mentally praised his acting skills this regeneration- he had bought more than enough time to think about what to say to Rose…well both of her, and to his younger selves. And brilliant Donna. So he was all ready to swagger to their group when she called him again.

"Yes you! Suspenders, bowtie, yellow bike fetish! Here, now!"

As the 11th Doctor started approaching, his 9th incarnation finally removed his hand from his face in favour of articulating his annoyance better to his 10th self. He turned to him, waving his hand in accusation against the approaching fashion victim and exclaimed:

"And then there's this buffoon!"

"Who's that then?" – 10 responded with no small amount of curiosity looking over at his younger self while everybody else was staring at the newcomer, only to see him facepalm once more and mutter:

"Oh, take a wild guess."

"Sorry, couldn't hear you from back there! Don't have the ears (he gestured to 9 vaguely) for the job anymore. Hello, hello, hello! Wow, the entire…gang! Is here! Having fun! Should've come earlier, made a proper party, with party hats and name badges and lots of fizzy drinks! Oh, I wore a name badge once, and let me tell you. Those things are proper cool, not to mention useful in situations you may not know who you are talking to." – the newcomer said rubbing his hands together and taking in the puzzled faces of everyone around him (from a disturbingly close distance, Donna thought.)

Meanwhile, the tenth Doctor seemed to have finally made the said wild guess and joined his younger self in the facepalm, saying in a barely audible voice- "Oh- that chin and fashion sense, it can't be. " The stranger just beamed at him. "Oh, you've got to be kidding."

9 just nodded.

The bowtied apparition did not seem to take any notice and he started greeting all the humans he had not seen in ages by the traditional human way nowadays. Or at least the way he thought was traditional and human (kissing on the cheeks, or more precisely, the air next to the cheeks. He never really understood that weird human tradition and judging by the horrified look on young Rose's face, who he had just greeted, neither did most humans. Bizarre, but, you know, humans often are). He next moved on to his 10th self who almost jumped back in surprise and visibly flinched as if he expected an enormous explosion to occur right there and then when he felt the hands of his older self on his shoulders. His eyebrows shot up while his future regeneration was giving him air kisses. The same entity physically touching at two points of the timeline and no paradox, no tears in the fabric of reality- nothing! That was completely and utterly impossible! Well… there was a way… But if he was right, than Rose had been correct as well- they were in very, very deep trouble.

Speaking of trouble the 11th doctor was now approaching Donna to perform his strange ritual and Donna was getting ready to slap his weird-ass fringe right into orbit, were he to try that. Luckily, even after the long years without her (however, trained to a semi-professional level by travelling with Amy), the Doctor was still an expert in reading Noble intentions. So while his younger form paled next to him, anticipating the cracking noise, he expertly dodged Donna by giving a small awkward wave ten centimetres from her face and shuffled over to older Rose, who still seemed very concentrated and was staring right into his eyes.

Because they were the same pair of ancient eyes she had stared into when her Doctor was trying to hide something, or sneak in a baby crocodile to live in the bathtub, or when he was deeply hurt (which luckily did not happen too often nowadays, except for that one time when he discovered that pears won the most popular fruit of the decade award, instead of bananas, which took an undeserved seventh place), or when he held her close and smiled tenderly.

Well…(her mind drawled out just like he always does)…technically they were a different colour. But the spark behind them? There was no way she would ever mistake that.

By the time he had finished smacking the air next to her ears she had him figured all out and stopped him from swanning off by practically crashing against him in a tight hug. He seemed a bit surprised at first, mouth open and non-existing eyebrows raised (how had she figured him out so quickly!), but he soon responded and snuggled against her neck, closing his eyes.

And that is when the younger Rose Tyler realised who the newcomer was. Because she knew, however much she had changed in the future, she knew that one thing would never change. And because of that, such a hug was reserved for only one person in existence.

And right now there were three of him.


	11. Always with the Rory

_**Okay okay, so I lied. Only one chap this weekend. Sorry. Couldn't keep my promise, been busy as heck.**_

_**But what is this? Could this be the infamous thing called plot sneaking into this story?**_

* * *

Struggling to keep up with the frantic pace the weird version of the Doctor had now set, Rory levelled up with Amy and asked her under his breath:

"Do you really think we should trust him? I mean, he could be anyone, he didn't exactly show us any valid identification", to which the redhead only scowled, focused on not losing in the crowd the mess of hair that indicated the presence of a Doctor-head underneath it, as it was the only visual she had on him at the moment. Luckily he was quite tall in this regeneration. The idea of valid Doctor identification, however, almost made her lose her focus by moving her eyes to Rory to check whether he had not suddenly gotten a really bad case of some sort of local make-you-talk-absolute-nonsense flu. (for all she knew there could be one, the universe is vast and full of idiotic stuff, as the Doctor always said, or at least something with that general meaning) Anyway, she settled for the short and collected:

"What."

"I am right though, you know!"

"Roory, when and where have you ever seen a valid Doctor identification?" – she asked, with as much emphasis on each word she could muster while semi-running and dodging a wall of people around her.

"He does have that paper thi-"

"Psychic paper!" – she interrupted him- "It shows you whatever he wants you to see. He could actually be the president of Australia, for all I care, he is still our Doctor! And I trust him! Besides!" – she tried to wave a hand dismissively but only succeeded in hitting a passing local- "What's the worst that can happen!"

Rory rolled his eyes at that -with the Doctor the worst that could happen could actually be up to few times worse than the worst he could imagine. As they finally came to a stop in a clearing he muttered to himself- "Well, we are about to find out."

It was a perfectly normal clearing actually, with quite a smaller crowd (this part of the market was specialised in selling stamps, so naturally the interest was close to none) and nothing really made it stand out of the ordinary. Except for the four identical police boxes in different sides of it, each partially hidden by some stalls and facing away from the clearing, but perfectly visible from the centre of it.

The Doctor rubbed his eyes and turned to his temporary companions. All he came up with was:

"Blimey." He, and he was talking all types of he, had really, really screwed up this time.

They had parked in the same place. In the same time.

"Right. Amy, stay here with him, please, I'll go get the Doctor." – Rory said, springing to action once more. The sooner this was sorted, the sooner they would be able to get rid of the stranger. If he really was the Doctor, as he claimed, he needed to get his handsome tall ass as far from Amy as possible. He was already having second thought for having left her alone with him when he opened the current TARDIS, so he glanced quickly back. Both were standing in the clearing, staring at him intently- they weren't even chatting. The weird Doctor was impatiently rocking on his feet with his hand in his pockets and a serious face on. Amy just looked generally bored at the moment. Satisfied with that, Rory stepped into the TARDIS console room and yelled "DOCTOR?" Nobody answered, so he took a few steps in, looked under the console, peered into the inside corridors, yelling for the alien again, and listening intently for a second or two until he was satisfied that no answer would come and the Doctor was still somewhere gallivanting around the marketplace. He started to walk back towards the entrance, when suddenly the door shut right in his face. He frowned, and tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge.

He tried hitting it as well, of course, but that didn't work either. He ran to the console and started dialling Amy's phone from the TARDIS phone, impatiently pacing as much as the chord allowed him to (the love the Doctor had for this retro look was bordering on ridiculous, Rory had had it with retro in the few short thousands of years with no warm water) He stared at the screen which showed the parallel Doctor running forward with a very serious expression on his face and his TARDIS key out and Amy lagging a little bit behind, fishing out her phone from her pockets. He didn't slow down his running at all as he approached the door and he practically slammed into it. At the same time Amy managed to pick up her phone

"Rooryy. What are you dooin'?"- she started, with a warning in her tone. If the Doctor was going to go off and her Rory just to escape meeting himself, he had another thing coming. The truth, however, scared her much more.

"Amy! I am not doing anything, I did not touch anything, I did not even close the door! It just, sort of, slammed right in front of my face! Ask him, what should I do!"

"Doctor!"

"I, I don't know!"-he exclaimed through his teeth while trying to sonic the lock of the door. His panic showed in his manic stare- at such a fragile point of time with so many instances of the same TARDIS somebody was pulling it in. A lot of power was required for that. An enormous , unbelievable amount of power and sophisticated technology that would take years to design, decades even! Heck, he couldn't even pull off something as flashy! And if somebody of that resources got his hands on, not one, but four magnificent TARDISes…

"Amy?!"

"Doctor, what is going on!"

"No,no,no,no!"- the Doctor yelled in frustration- "It is double deadlocked! I can't even scratch that! But why?! Think, Doctor, think, why this, why here, why now?!"

"Uhm, I think there are co-ordinates set, the TARDIS is trying to fly itself?!"- this really was too much for Rory. Definitely not the worst that could happen (well, he probably jinxed it now), after all it was him being kidnapped for once, and Amy was safe. So as far as his disasters went, this one was still pretty low on the horribleness scale. But he still didn't fancy dying (again), so he was glad his kidnappers had chosen the TARDIS as a prison, even if there seemed to be minor fires erupting around the room currently. He stepped on the one closest to him.

"Doctoor, do something! She's your ship!" – Amy cried.

"No, she's not anymore! Besides this is outside of my influence!" – he practically grabbed her phone from her ear and yelled in the speaker.

"Rory! We are coming to get you, okay? Just keep the line open on your side and stay inside the TARDIS! Under no circumstances open that- " – his instructions to Rory were abruptly cut off from a loud noise from the other side.

Rory had been listening very carefully when suddenly he found that a big spark had cut off the chord of the TARDIS phone, the speaker of which he still held dumbly against his ear. Well, he thought bitterly, I shouldn't have wished for wireless, should I. He ran to the door again, dropping the speaker in the process, and pressed his face against the windows to try and decipher the rest of the Doctor's instructions. He couldn't hear anything, only saw the Doctor mouthing something to him.

Something, now that he thought about it, that resembled "Look out!" quite a lot. His eyes widened and was just about to turn around when something hit him very hard on the back of the head.

The last thing he heard, slipping into unconsciousness, was Amy yelling his name.


	12. Plotting with Amy Williams

_**There I am again! I am saddened to say that this would probably be updated only on weekends from now on. Here's a longer-ish chapter to make up for your troubles!**_

* * *

All the Doctor could do was watch and pace as the TARDIS disappeared in front of him, relentlessly juggling theories to find out what was happening. He had really been away from this universe for so long. What had Timelord him done to earn such a powerful enemy? Why? Perhaps he'd lived for far too long without a proper grounding after all he had lost the second time at Bad Wolf Bay. The same day he (half-human he) had gained everything. Universe was far too unfair to let the full Timelord him be a good man and maybe, just maybe, he had finally slipped into the abyss he used to fear so much. And as always, innocent, brilliant people were involved to answer for his mistakes. It was his (part-human his, damn these pronouns were limited!) fault for takin-

"Doctor!" – Amy interrupted him, effectively bringing him back into reality. She had been banging on the door to the TARDIS which held Rory while she could before it completely dematerialised and immediately whipped back to hear out the Doctor's plan for the rescue mission. What she found was something she didn't like seeing at all: The Doctor's eyes were dark and stormy and he was wearing his best Brooding-because-this-is-obviously-all-my-fault Face. And if he was anything like the Doctor she knew, this could seriously inhibit his making-plan skills. So she had to snap him out of it.

"Doctor. It's none of your fault. None of other-you's fault either. He is magnificent, and you better be as good as him, because we need a plan. Concentrate on the present. Fast as you can, I am listening!"- Amy crossed her arms and observed him as his eyes widened a little bit, expression unreadable for a moment an eyebrow raised, a concentrated look overtaking a second after. He was making a plan. Good work Mrs Williams!- Amy mentally congratulated herself for handling the Time-baby's little self-hate episode with practised ease.

In fact, it was as easy for her to bring him back into action mainly because she reminded the Doctor in front of her of a very important thing. That his friends had always been the best of him. He knew he couldn't possibly deserve such brilliant people around him, but there Amy was and thus he also knew she would never let Timelord-him slip off into forbidden territories. So that meant finding Rory leapt up in his priority list right on top- he owed her at least that.

"Right! Think, Amy!" – he said putting his hands on the sides of her head and bent so that he was at her level, staring right into her eyes, as if that was going to help her jog her memory. She raised her eyebrows a bit at that but let him continue with his questioning. Usually just letting him talk did the trick.

"Think! Who could do this? An enormous amount of power is needed to move my beautiful TARDIS without her consent, not to mention the skills involved, I hate to brag, but this ship was designed to be operated by at least a few Timelords, how could a single non-timelord ever accomplish something that even I find hard! "- Amy just rolled her eyes at this, River did it just fine and way better than him, but she wasn't about to stop his thoughts just to point that out. Maybe later… The Doctor paid no attention to her expression and continued- "Besides she is stubborn, oh so very stubborn, and you need enormous power just to enter, let alone make her disappear against her will, so we are talking a fusion reaction enough to fuel a whole planet…well, a type 3 planet anyway…"

A screeching sound interrupted him. Two more TARDISes (well two more instances of the same TARDIS) had their dematerialisation sequences started. Amy and the Doctor turned, his hands still on her head, and just stared. The Doctor just blinked really slowly and let his hands fall limply to his side, knowing full well that he could do nothing to stop them and thanked his luck that his and Rose's TARDIS was from another universe and thus with no power at the moment. When there was only one police box left in the clearing and a wind- the remnant of the dematerialisation of the other TARDISes. When it all quietened down, save for annoyed merchants who were chasing their prised stamps left and right and yelling to the customers who were trying to snatch whatever they could , the Doctor mumbled:

"Make that a type 7 planet…"

Amy suddenly turned to him.

"Daleks." The Doctor looked vaguely surprised.

"What -they're still around, are they? They never really go away. Nope, Daleks can't enter the TARDIS like that. Destroy it- sure (he shuddered at the memory), but the extrapolator shouldn't allow any Dalek to break in unless we are in their ship or something."- he looked around.- "And unless they have hired an even bigger nutter to do their decorations from last time, we're not." Just to make sure he picked a stamp up from the floor and licked it, causing a nearby stall owner who had been walking their way to reclaim it to cringe and back away slowly. Amy was looking at him patiently and her nose scrunched up in disgust.

"What? I was analysing! Anyway, you're not helping much, I told you- think!"

"Oh, I am sorry, didn't realise I was the Timelord here! Other-you always wants his quiet when he's thinking, but I guess you're well above all that thinking business!

"Look, I am trying to help MRS. AMY and I am not the same person with him, so don't you blame me for him wanting his quiet every once in a while!" –the Doctor cried indignantly, making Amy go from Pissed Off to Eureka in a millisecond.

"That's it! The Silence!"

"What about it?"

"Not just the silence, The Silence!"

"And that is..?" – the Doctor hated it when he was the one who had to ask the questions, he really had been away from this universe for too long.

"It's a cult thing, sworn to kill you to stop you from saying your name, or something. By killing you. And they did, kidnapped my daughter, trained her to kill you and-" her own hand on her mouth interrupted her. She couldn't tell all that to him! What was she thinking!

The Doctor noticed that and her horrified expression but said nothing. It was none of his business, although he felt very sorry for the young woman in front of him. That double-hearted idiot. When she didn't continue, he said as gently as possible:

"Don't worry, Amy, it's not The Silence"- his weird emphasis on the The made the horrifying for Amy name sound almost silly.- "Too sinister."

"What? Doctor, are you daft?! There's never too sinister with you, I am being serious! These things can kill you on sight!"- she all but screamed at him then checking both her hands on all sides as she checked for any signs. She still did it, every morning, just to make sure.

"They can? Good!" – the human Doctor retorted to her absolute horror. When he noticed her expression he hurried to clarify- "Well, not Good -good, in fact horrible, I'll have to have a word with that Timelord for putting you brilliant humans in such danger all the time, but good as in- too sinister. It's not them.

"Okay, how could you possibly know that." –and Amy's patience was quickly slipping away. She understood that was not the same ma-uhm-alien, but she was fighting his impulse to hit him all the same. He was just as annoying as her raggedy friend.

"The mallet." He shrugged. "See, if I was a sinister cult, and I am not, don't think I am, if I was I'd probably make a terrible sinister cult-"

"Doctor!"

"Right, if I was a sinister cult I would not use a rubber mallet I'd just snatched from the TARDIS which, let me remind you, I am stealing with power enough to completely wipe this planet from the stellar map, to hit the friend of my enemy on the head gently enough to only knock him out without causing any lasting brain damage. Weell, any more than there already is."

He was beaming at his brilliant deduction when he noticed the strange behaviour of the human in front of him. She was looking at him with an unreadable expression, untying her shoe. When she did, she calmly stepped out of it, straightened up, nodded satisfied from her work, apparently and proceeded to beat hit him with the shoe on the head several times.

"Oi! What the… hey hey, hey! Stop it!"

He didn't know what hit him. No actually, scratch that, he knew very well- Amy made quite sure he did. She then, just as calm put her shoe back on and said through gritted teeth.

"He is Rory Williams, my husband and you do not know what he's capable of. Only I get to call him stupid, got that alien boy?"

The human Doctor gulped, rubbing his head where a bruise was probably going to form.

"Yeeahh…sorry 'bout that. That's me- rude and not ginger. Forever apparently…Anyway….Back to the point- Rory (he emphasised on the name to avoid being hit again)- is just fine. They are using him to get us, well you and the timelord Doctor, into a trap, or perhaps they just wanted the TARDIS and he got in the way. Who knows, it might all be just a giant misunderstanding, like one time I Rose got kidnapped on this planet called- "

"Doctor, time and place for stories. Come on."

"Where to?"

"We need you to rescue Rory, don't we? So, let's go and find you. "

"And I am where exactly?"

"You tell me- where would you be?"

That was easy- he would be with Rose…Oh that bastard better not dare get anywhere near her! Okay, that was a bit weird, he was still him, in a way, but still, now that they were….

"Wait a minute! That's it! You, Amy Williams, are brilliant!"- he exclaimed realising…But why was Amy looking at him like that.

"Huh, that's weird"- she said.

"But you are! I should know- I only take the best"

"No,no"- she waved her hands vaguely- "I meant Williams. My name used to be Amy Pond before I got married and the Doctor still calls us that- Ponds."

"Well, I am not the same man anymore and also I like Williams better anyway. So back to my amazing clever plan that you interrupted with your uuh…" –he looked for a word that would be classified as polite to escape any more physical assault- "interesting information? So as I was saying, I'll just ask Rose telepathically where they are and I bet you a banana that she has found your Doctor. She always does, Rose, and you have no idea who I am talking about, do you?"

Amy , surprisingly, looked a little bit guilty and sad when she shook her head, so the Doctor guessed that his Timelordisness had fallen back to the oldest, best tested technique of dealing with pain- pretending it wasn't there. This was a good sign- perhaps he'd finally moved on and wouldn't go and steal his Rose. He was married, Amy had said?

"Anyway, calling Rose now."- he opened his side of the psychic link they had made with one another and gently tugged at her side. There was no response.


	13. The Reunion Completed

_**I'll try to get you the next part as soon as possible, but if that doesn't happen- see you all next weekend**_

* * *

Rose felt the little prod in her mind as she disentangled herself from the 11th Doctor's uncoordinated arms. It was the warm gentle presence she always felt when her Doctor made the connection, and normally she would have opened her mind straight away, but this time…. This time there were too many versions of him. She did not know which Doctor was doing the mental equivalent of knocking on the door to her consciousness. She looked into the eyes of the future Doctor. They were green and warm this time, no eyebrows mind, blimey! And they were staring deep into hers, with great concentration. Could he be doing it, perhaps even unintentionally…? She let her eyes sweep all the others around her, but everyone looked equally concentrated on the reunion. Well, she couldn't let any of the past Doctors (or the future one for that matter) potentially get in, so she decided to shut the call for mental connection out. Foreknowledge is a dangerous thing. Knowledge of what could have- just as much. She smiled sadly and straightened his bowtie.

He broke the silence first (the rest of the company seemed to have been holding their breaths or something).

"Rose Tyler." – as always, he laced those words with so much emotion, his own ridiculous mix of regret, astonishment, happiness and fearfulness. Donna gasped in the background but neither of the pair noticed. "You haven't changed at all."

"You have. " –Rose poked him in the stomach- "What's with the bowtie?"

He beamed at her.

"I'll have you know, Tyler, that bowties are cool. Can you imagine, it took me eleven regenerations to figure this simple rule of the universe out! Eleven! How thick I must have been! Incredible, that is, and you used to say that I am such a smart bloke!" – he now turned to be able to address the group at large and reveal his identity officially but was interrupted by Rose.

"Nope, didn't have to. You say it yourself every 3 minutes or so."

Young Rose decided to join in the Doctor humiliation as well, imitating his 9th self's voice

"Ooh, Rose, look! I reconfigured the metaflux charging units! Rose, look, this is how the deaf Perperantians communicate when they teach physics to their young! Oooh, Rose, look, I made toast! Fantastic!" – she punched the air as if extremely enthusiastic, but couldn't stand it, taking in the identical indignant and betrayed expression of all three Doctors, and dissolved into giggles. "You think you're so impressive!"

"I am so impressive!"- the eleventh practically whined while both Roses were struggling to breathe from laughter. Glad that the tension had been broken, Donna decided to storm in, full power , into the Doctor-teasing once more, turning to his 10th, very much unamused face-

"Better stock up on TARDIS diapers, spaceboy! Next time you'll be regenerating into an infant!"

All three of him just gaped at her, the two Roses almost on the ground with laughter.

"You look like you've headed that way! You started off fine, strong, leather jacket, good!" – 9 looked momentarily victorious before she continued- "A big fan of free falls I'd bet, no need for a parachute with these ears! " – he touched them absentmindedly and retorted – "Sorry, couldn't hear what you said, I think it was all the knowledge of time flowing through my mind, could you repeat that, miss temp in Chiswick?" A snarky smile appeared on his face, but Donna wasn't having any of that.

"Oooh, all of that? Must be leaking out of through those large holes on the side of your face, 'cuz yesterday morning you spent 5 hours complaining to me about how uncomfortable Earth shoes are until I brought your almighty attention to the fact that the discomfort may have had something to do with the fact. That you had. Two left shoes on. " – 10 and 11 were blushing magnificently under the mock glare of 9. He didn't like being shown as a fool, especially in front of a couple of Roses but he couldn't help the grin that had started to form on his face. Donna Noble, eh? He couldn't wait to meet her in his time stream. It wasn't often that somebody was capable of, as Rose had once put it 'Outsassing' him.

"As I was saying, you spaceboy are not regenerating, but degenerating! Look what you became! A twig!"

"With great hair!"- old Rose added in, while young Rose was still unable to form words

"And the behaviour of a 9 year old! And over there, surprise-surprise! It's a toddler!"

"Hey! First, I will have you known that I am a responsible and mature person!" -11 started to disbelieving looks from all sides, even making his past self to roll his eyes, whereas the 9th one was still feeling his ears. (were they really that massive?)-"And second, how did everybody figure out who I am so quickly! It took the fun out of the enigmatic appearance…" Young Rose, just snorted, shaking her head. Two regenerations, or whatever, ahead, and he was still the same person.

"Was it the looks?" – he winked at the older Rose like he did when he first met her in his 10th face- "The devilish charm?"

"The atrocious fashion sense?" – 9 added. He realised he was making fun of himself, but he couldn't help it. Maybe he would listen to himself and get rid of that bowtie one day soon.

11 had just turned to him to look affronted but then Donna added-

"Wait, what devilish charm are you talking about there, mate?"

"Heeeey!" –the 10th Doctor finally stepped into his own defence, to the amusement of both Roses, who were just watching the exchange. 11 ignored all of that.

"Or the deep, wise eyes of an ancient being?"

"So full of it, isn't he."- young Rose whispered to her older self, who smiled a bit sadly. His eyes really were a dead give away. She'd never seen such sad eyes in anyone but the Doctor. They could twinkle and laugh and be impressed, but there was always that underlying layer created by the suffering only a being so old can bear. Fortunately her thoughts were interrupted as the Doctor had clearly heard young Rose's comment and turned to her now.

"Now, Rose Tyler, you of all people should know that I- "

"That's it!"- Donna exclaimed.

"Look can't a Doctor finish a sentence here or…?"

"No, that's it! That's how I recognised, you big moron. The way you say Rose Tyler. The same as him"- she nodded towards 10. This suddenly jolted the pinstripey Doctor into action.

"Right! Time to get some work done towards solving this mess. But first we need to find your Rose. Where's she gone off to? We need everyone here to…."- he noticed the way the face of his eleventh self slightly crumpled and the way the 9th self very suddenly stopped even smiling.

"Ah"- he closed his mouth guiltily before he hurt his future self…and himself actually. He never asked how much time had passed. He simply did not want to go there. The bow-tied Doctor was quite observant though, and he guessed where the train of thoughts of both his younger selves threatened to derail so he quickly explained:

"No! No, no, no, no, nope, absolutely do not even think about that! As if we'd ever let that happen! No, she's safe and sound. Just…not here." –this earned him an earnest surprised 'double eyebrow lift' from both his 10th self and older Rose. What did he mean not here…

"Parallel world, apparently."- the ninth Doctor added bitterly. He sounded as if he was about go and show a piece of his mind to his senior self and he sure as hell was going to deserve that.

"You lost her again?! How DISORGANISED ARE YOU!" – Donna hit his 10th self on the arm.

"Not my fault, Donna!" – he steadfastly refused to look at any Rose at the moment – "Not yet, anyway"

"What, that happened twice?!" – young Rose whimpered, a bit horrified by the fact how the Doctors would not meet her gaze and were examining various pieces of clothing around. Her leather-clad Doctor, however, stepped solemnly towards her and hugged her briefly, then looked into her eyes to check if she was alright. Older Rose, meanwhile, decided this was the moment to let everyone out of their misery. Well, at least a bit. She addressed the spikey haired Doctor:

"Doctor, it's fine. Look at me, I'm here, Its alright." – that was just enough to crack him though.

"How could it ever be fine! I lose you again! I can't- "- he almost yelled.

"No, no, no, listen, Doctor, it's me, it's fine- this is me, here. After the second time, see, it's me!"- she waved her hand at him, earning a full-on mouth gape from the 11th regeneration, who exclaimed very very surprised-

"But, but, that's impossible! Ithought… Is he?" –now it was Rose's turn to look surprised. She thought he had figured it out when he remarked that she hadn't changed at all. Apparently he had just been comparing between her and her younger self…

"Doctor, it's me after the Medusa Cascade. I thought you figured it out, you daft alien!" – the only response she got was a bone crushing hug… from two Doctors apparently. A full on Doctor sandwich from his 11th self, who somehow managed to simultaneously jump up and down with excitement like the little kid Donna had compared him to, and his slightly tearful 10th self, who wasn't going to let go of her anytime soon. Donna and younger Rose just exchanged confused looks and  
turned to look at the 9th Doctor who was fighting between his possessive impulse to push those pretty boys off his Rose and his dignity. Donna just elbowed him slightly in the ribs and said.

"Jealous are we? You do realise that both those blokes over there are you, right?"

Behind young Rose was blushing and older Rose was thinking she might need a crowbar if she were to ever pry open the arms of the Doctors on both her sides.

Well that was certainly something new, wasn't it.


	14. How to not beat oneself up

**_Hello and sorry for being so very late with this. _**

**_As the Doctor says: Busy life. Moving on. _**

* * *

Finally, the 9th Doctor couldn't stand it any longer and picked both of his future versions up by the collars like dirty kittens and divided the hug. Both shot him dirty looks but he paid no attention. He wanted to get away from this thing as far and as soon as possible. He really hated peeks into his future, especially if it involved tragic reunions, mainly because the prerequisite for each reunion is the parting of the ways.

"Oi you two! A bit too clingy aren't we?"- he exclaimed, eyeing them to make sure they didn't attach right back to her when he let them go. This, to his dismay only earned him a snigger from Donna, a snigger he could swear, that if it contained any words, they would be 'I told you so'.

"Of course, they are. After all, they're all you." – old Rose started but was immediately interrupted by the 10th Doctor who did not like that comment-

"Oh, no,no,no! I am not too clingy, It's just you who is the one too-he struggled to find a word, clicking fingers- too unclingy! Mister 'don't look at me I'm a monster' I am just the right amount of clingy, thank you!

"Yeah, lighten up a bit!"- 11 piped in, fishing out his hat from his transdimensional pockets to plop it back on his head in what he probably thought was a challenging motion. "Turn that frown -upside down!"

"Oh, I am _ever_ so sorry if my serious demeanour offended you!"- 9 responded with so much sarcasm that older Rose was sure that if she had a way to harvest it as energy, she and her Doctor would be back in their parallel universe in no time and would never again need to charge their TARDIS. As amusing as it was to see him trying to win in an argument with himself, there was still work to be done. Today, if at all possible. She was just about to start saying something when the 9th Doctor continued, his voice raising in volume gradually.

"I better start taking life less seriously, just like you! Proper role models that you are, trapping Rose on a parallel universe _just _a couple of times!" – and even before he had finished the sentence he just knew he had gone one step too far. The 10th Doctor's eyes had darkened dangerously and he stepped forward purposefully, but he wasn't about to back down from some skinny pretty boy who thought he knew it all and just flexed his fists in preparation.

Both Roses and the 11th Doctor reacted quickly- nobody needed to see the Timelord beating up himself, hilarious as it may appear. The oldest incarnation got there first and just in time to stop his two earlier regenerations from resolving their differences, pushing both away. They stopped and glared at him, nobody moving for a few moments. Nobody said anything- both Roses knew neither Doctor wouldn't listen anyway and Donna was too busy wishing she had popcorn right now.

Finally, young Rose decided to say something, carefully breaking the tension:

"Doctor, flattered as I am, now's not the time and place to fight over me…with yourself." She eyed each Doctor in turn, even the one who was breaking the fight up for now. They continued to throw the proverbial daggers from their eyes at each other. "Blimey" – she added thoughtfully after a few moments partly to their unwavering resolve to beat themselves up and partly because perhaps there was some truth behind her joke… She didn't want to go there. Thankfully, Donna didn't want to miss a chance to comment as well.

"No, no, I like it! It saves me the effort, of slapping you idiots one by one, do please continue!"- the Doctor glares simultaneously turned to her, but they didn't hold any determination or 'Oncoming storm' in them anymore, easily slipping into the 'exasperated with Donna again' glare. Funny how identical those glares were on the two faces. The 11th Doctor was just smiling at her proudly. If there had been any tension left it had swiftly escaped the scene tail between legs, ashamed of itself for showing up on the same planet with Donna Noble.

She pretended to ignore them and just turned to older Rose, asking:

"End of the universe or whatever is happening right now can wait for a few minutes, right? Right? Please? I really need to see this!"

The two Doctors didn't oblige. In fact they both appeared positively guilty to Donna, as if trying to smuggle on board 99 dalmatian puppies, which , quoting, 'were just about to be skinned by a very cruel woman, Donna!' without a certain companion's permission if her room can be used for the storage of said puppies, after only the 'But I don't want them to leave steps all over my favourite couch in the library' argument had been given.

"We cool, bros? Kiss and make up." – 11 tried, but was only awarded with exasperated looks on all sides (add horror on 10's behalf and older Rose silently shaking her head in concern and mouthing to him 'Don't ') He never asked whether it was because he had wanted himself to kiss himself or because of his cool and youthful vocabulary, which, undoubtedly, was beyond the understanding of anybody here. They were too last century.

The three Doctors were all about to step away from one another when they suddenly were send flying to the dusty ground, all three melodramatically waving legs having landed on their backs. Young Rose was taken aback for a second before she ran to help the 9th and 11th regeneration to get up while the 10th Doctor had already jumped up to his feet and was attempting to dedust himself. Older Rose found herself unable to do anything because of the crippling bout of giggles that had overcome her. Donna looked shocked more than anything, crossing her hands and exclaiming:

"Okay, kids, separate corners and no bananas after dinner! What the hell did we just say about fighting?"

"Donnaa, that wasn't us!" 10 was the first to respond, confused.

"What happened then?"- young Rose enquired, while helping her Doctor brush dust off the back of his favourite jacket. Next to her the oldest Doctor was looking at his new hat with a sorrowful expression. He knew trouble was always attracted to two things the most in this universe- Rose Tyler and his hats. He shouldn't have taken this baby out of his pocket at all.

"Yes, who was it then, bloody father Christmas?"- Donna needed some convincing.

"Nope, I didn't do anything this time." -9 said thoughtfully.

"What-"- Donna began but was interrupted by older Rose who was finally recovering from her laugh attack and decided to aid them in their investigation.

"From my point of view, it was as if some external force was transmitted to all three Doctors at the same time, pushing them back."

"Not a lethal external force, hopefully, otherwise that would be one hell of a headache in communication - if we all regenerated switching around."- the 10th Doctor added happily and then furrowed his eyebrows- "Mind you, wouldn't mind a sneak peek if I was ginger..."

Young Rose just looked at him incredulously, while his 9th regeneration pointed with both hands, trying to convey 'I was right about this joke of a regeneration in my arguments a few minutes ago and you know it' solely through body language. Older Rose caught his eye and shook her head in warning, so he let his hands audibly flop back down. Meanwhile the 11th Doctor had started repairing a little rip in his new hat using his sonic screwdriver and Donna was still recovering from shock.

"NOOO. He's not. Is he? Rose, tell me he's not Santa. He can't be Santa! Can he?! He's not though!"

"So he says…"- older Rose provided. Her younger self just smirked- Donna had accepted the existence of multiple regenerations of the Doctor from different points of time at the same place on the go and was getting excited over the fact that she might have been travelling with Santa. She was right to have liked her since the beginning.

"I am though!"- 10th sounded nothing less than perfectly offended.

"You SO are not!"- Donna exclaimed and turned to his 9th self, asking "Are you really?

9 just rolled his eyes and was about to launch into an explanation about how only stupid apes would be asking about a minor comment he had made while there was a mystery and potential danger at hand when the 11th Doctor finally finished scrutinising and refurbishing his hat, pocketed it in a movement that should have been forbidden by conventional laws of physics and slapped his hands together.

"Right! Let's see who's so chatty at this time of day!" – he said, taking his psychic paper out and opening it to show everybody. 'Voila. There's our external force."


	15. Gallifreyan texting

**_Plot twist: This story actually has a plot._**

* * *

_Meanwhile, at the other side of the Market-_

_"Anyway, calling Rose now."- he opened his side of the psychic link they had made with one another and gently tugged at her side. There was no response. _

Amy watched as the Doctor's face drained of all colour. He swallowed and turned to her.

"I-I…couldn't make a connection."

"What does that mean, Doctor?" – she asked him carefully.

"Not sure. Any range of things ,really- there could be psychic interference, which is the most probable, she might be pissed off at me and shutting me off- which doesn't happen often…" – he trailed off. Even when absolutely furious with him, she'd never done that before….Well, of course it couldn't be that simple. This was his unlucky universe after all, things here were never simple. "..She might be asleep, knocked unconscious or…" – he swallowed again and shifted his gaze.

"Or she might have found my Doctor and doesn't want him to sense her telepathy by having a casual chat with you across the marketplace, right?"- Amy offered.

The Doctor's eyes widened and a huge grin appeared on his face. Ooh, he liked that idea. It sounded a bit far-fetched, but in the end of the day, it was his job to be the believer of far-fetched hopes.

"Amy, you are brilliant! But still…agggh… how do we contact her?"- he said, hands pulling on his hair in frustration once more.

"Doesn't she have a mobile?

"Wrong universe…but we could do that little trick River used once…?" – he said thoughtfully, rummaging his pockets for his piece of psychic paper. "Ah, there it is! If I am very very clever, and incidentally I am…"- he mumbled while taking his sonic screwdriver out as well and buzzing the paper. Amy just rolled her eyes. "…I could reverse the psychic flow and connecting it to my psychic field will enable it to transmit a signal instead of… " –at this point he paused his activity to wave the paper in front of Amy, emphasising his point.

And at that exact same time it just flew off from his hand and fell on the ground a few meters behind them. The Doctor and Amy just stared.

"…instead of receiving it…"

They shared a confused look and ran over to it, the Doctor scanning with his screwdriver the suspiciously behaving piece of paper.

"Well! It's not supposed to do THAT!"

"Doctor, what _was_ that?!"

He ignored her in favour of carefully picking it up by the tips of his fingers, holding the very edge, as if it was something explosive or really really stinky. Or a pear.

He ever so slowly flipped it open, exclaiming:

"Looks like somebody beat us to it, Amy! It's a message!"

"Awesome! What does it say?"

When there was no response to her question (_again!)_ Amy looked up at the Doctor's face, who was crouching next to her. It was completely white.

"Doctor. What is going on? What does it say?!"

"It says 'The Master and Jack are here' and gives co-ordinates..."

* * *

"…in Gallifreyan."

"But that's impossible!" – the tenth Doctor exclaimed gaping at his own piece of paper he had frantically dug out of his pocket. Around him everybody was in different degrees of confusion and, with the exception of Donna and young Rose, who simply didn't get what was going on right now, terror.

"Yeah, mate, find another catch phrase, you've worn that one out."- Donna said, waiting for some sort of explanation to come by.

"Wait, I thought nobody could speak that language."- said the younger Rose and went to take a closer look of her Doctor's psychic paper. He handed it over absent-mindedly and mumbled:

"Except for Timelords nobody, does, but.." – but he was the only one who survived. Not even the Master could have…

"Oh, think about it, spaceboy!"- Donna piped in- "There's, what, three versions of you at the same time, right at the same spot. What makes you think there isn't another one sending you a message- it's not that impossible, is it?"

"No… but If what it says is true, I'm more worried that It is actually another Timelord sending it" – the eleventh regeneration said thoughtfully, made a few tiny circles around like a cat getting ready to settle down and suddenly sunk down sitting cross-legged in the dirt, making a tiny dust cloud around him. Donna turned to the place where his voice had been a millisecond before to ask what he meant and stared when she found where the voice had gone to. Her eyebrows shot up. Nobody else even seemed to notice!

"What the..!?"

"Shhh, brain thinking."

"But-"

"Shhh!"

"The Master." – the Rose from the parallel world said with horror. It wasn't a question. The 10th Doctor looked up surprised- she knew about the year that never was?! He had sworn to himself to never even remember that, especially after living in a Doghouse as a sad version of Dobby the house elf for a year…

"The what?!"

"Donna, shuuush, I'm thi- OUCH! What was that for?!"- Donna had kicked him. Nobody was gonna shush her. Before she had a chance to give that bowtied little kid a piece of her mind, however, the 9th Doctor spoke quietly, almost as if he wasn't sure whether to hope or dread:

"Did he survive?"

"He can't have, he refused to regenerate."- the 10th one replied, thinking about a completely different surviving altogether.

"Oh, you'd be surprised- how do you think I got to that state, mate? Wasn't a lovely reunion that."-the Doctor sitting on the floor provided, wincing at both the memory and his slightly soar ribs where Donna had just kicked him.

"Will somebody please just explain what's going on?"- the young Rose pleaded, followed quickly by Donna's "In English!"

"The Master is a Timelord. Not a very pleasant chap, though."- 9 turned to Rose.

"To the point of actually succeeding to rule Earth twice in the past few years. Not many people can do that, gotta give him that, but then again not many people are also not sadistic crazy Timelords, I mean I sort of classify, but I never really intended to put the knife with the marmite in the butter, Amy framed me on thi- OUCH!" Donna had kicked him again. Well, he supposed, he really was rambling this time. Luckily, his other regenerations had no problem in filtering through the information.

"He did what?!" – the northern accent asked.

"Twice?! " 10 added.

"Oh, you'll find out."

The two younger Doctors shared horrified glances. They really, really didn't want to find out.

"Basically, him, here, while time is so fragile, is a big problem. Think – your biggest problem, multiply that by 4.6- that big of a problem."- the tenth finished the explanation, both other Doctors nodding with concerned expressions.

"Okay, and who is Jack?"- the younger Rose asked and was met by the rolling of two pairs of eyes.

"Long story"- both 10 and 11 said.

"You still haven't met him?"- older Rose was quite surprised- but with that level of gruffness in the Doctor with her-

"Early days"- the 10th Doctor shrugged.

Yep- theory confirmed.

"He's a good man. Impossible flirt, too, you'll like him."- she addressed her younger self, smiling.

"Lookin' forward to that then!"

"Heeey"- okay, 9 wasn't pleased with the prospect, early days or not. Rose couldn't supress a grin at his expression. As if he could make the indignant 'heeey' appear as a passing, non-committed remark.

"Concentrate, space boys. Master crisis here, what do we do about it."- Donna ended their banter.

"Righty-o!"- the Doctor on the ground yelled and leapt to his feat dramatically. That got a few unimpressed eyebrows to be raised in his general direction. Okay. Fine! See if he ever used one of Rory's catch phrases before. What had possessed him to think Righty-o sounded cool…He continued, with slightly less enthusiasm giving his plan:

"First, rendezvous with the Ponds!"

"Then we go to the TARDIS"- 10 continued and the 9th regeneration finished up with one of his signature grins:

"And see what our pal is up to! Possibly saving the world in the process!"

"Right. No pressure."- young Rose smiled, tongue poking out.


	16. Meet your Master

Rory opened his eyes slowly and blinked a few times. What had happened, his head was pounding… Had he died again? He blinked again, it was quite light around him, was that a lamp? Okay, so maybe not so dead this time after all. He tried to raise his hand to feel the sore spot on his head to check if he was bleeding but he found that his hand was bound to something. A chair? He closed his eyes and opened them once more, this time everything swimming back in focus. He was in a well lit room and he could see in front of him the three TARDISes and four hooded dark figures. He looked down to his hands- yep that was a chair and he was kidnapped and tied up. Typical.

The central hooded figure approached and bowed its head a little, addressing Rory:

"Welcome, Master."

Rory licked his lips- at least this time no duct tape. That was annoying as hell. The figure was looking at him expectantly. Okay, it was his cue then.

"Uhm, hi. What's.."- his mouth was still quite dry so he made a pause frowning and looking around again- "….going on?"

"You have been escorted by one of our associates to our base and you will now summon the Doctor, Master."

Rory tried to assess how strong the ropes around his hands were. Quite strong. He tried tugging at the rope at his feet. Professionally tied as well. Damn. So- what did the Doctor always say- keep them talking, wasn't it? Right. Talking then. That was easy, right?

"Uhm, right. Look, you've got a mistake here. I'm not your master, okay, I'm just Rory."- he tried to shrug with his arms tied up.

"No, Master, you are not our ruler. We have nobody to bow down to, we are The Collectors!" – the hooded figure exclaimed and the those behind him exploded in cheering. Wait, no, not all of them- was one facepalming? What was all that about, Rory thought.

The one addressing did not notice and was very proud of himself. The hood itself appeared to be smiling as he turned to talk to his victim once more. Oh, great, just what Rory loved. A nice hot cup of tea, some jam and toast and a religious sect for breakfast in the morning. Brilliant.

He rolled his eyes and stopped the Collector from giving the compulsory 'why we are the superior religion' lecture by asking:

"That is all amazing, but if you are self-employed, why do you insist on calling me Master then?"

"We merely address your nature, Master. That is who you are. One of our most prised items, we have collected."- the gleeful undertone was still there, making Rory close his eyes, a little worried. He didn't like the notion of being collected. He really hoped the Doctor, or whatever he was, would hurry it up and provide backup. Preferably- without putting Amy in danger.

"Look, there's obviously some sort of misunderstanding!"

"Silence! Enough Timelord trickery!" –the hooded figure practically snarled. This completely caught Rory offguard.

"What?! I'm not-"

"You cannot deny your very nature, Master! You may have hidden your heart and memory, but you still bear weight of millennia on your shoulders! Only three creatures in our universe have these unique abilities- to escape death! The two infamous Time Lords- the Doctor and the Master and the immortal one! Written in every book of the Collectors, holding the key to eternal life! And now, we have apprehended the immortal one and used him to track your TARDIS. "

"But-"

"Such a magnificent machine! To think it exists at several points of time at the same instance. We collected all of it. But come, summon your brother in race, we must collect him now, too."- Okay at least he had gotten the Collector, or whatever, to talk, but now was Rory's turn now and he had no idea how to respond. What was all that 'master' business anyway!

"Look, firstly, I have no idea what you're talking about! Okay? No idea!"- the hooded figure chuckled, which Rory did not appreciate at all.

"No, no, listen, would you! Secondly, release me now or you are making a huge mistake!"

"Oh, we have heard of the wrath of a Timelord, Master. Spectacular. But you see, you cannot scare us, not while in your human form, and we shall comprehend your secrets before you can become a danger. Now, fret not, send the Doctor word that he must be collected."- with that, the Collector turned to one of the hooded figures behind him- the one that wasn't too keen on chanting the name of the sect. Interesting.

"Sister!- he waved her over- good to see there was gender equality in evil sects- and she stepped closer, taking a position a few centimetres behind the main Collector's back. "Assist him, make sure the Doctor joins our little….party." He turned to Rory again, introducing what he sincerely hoped would not be his future torturer or something of the sort. He really, really, really did not want to find out what 'assist' actually meant around here.

"That is our top new operative. "–she waved her hand cheerily, behind her boss's back, but then as if catching herself, abruptly put it into her pockets and looked back to the others. They were already leaving the room.

"Please, do not insult her, we know you have a vile way with words, Master. So it has been said many times. And make haste- Collectors are impatient by nature. Follow those instructions, Master- we may house great respect for your ancient race, yet we will not hesitate to hurt you."

With that he left the She-collector and Rory alone. As soon as her boss walked out, she looked around, cracked her knuckles and went over to a computer next to Rory, which he hadn't noticed until now, exclaiming:

"Well, I'm going to need some privacy for this. Let's see how easy you'll cooperate, mister."- she started typing furiously on it. Rory was just about to protest for the millionth time that there was a mistake and he wasn't supposed to be there when his hooded interrogator dramatically hit enter after entering whatever command. There was some whirring noise coming up from above him- Rory looked up to discover the camera which had been overlooking the room was retracting into the ceiling. It went fully into a whole made for it, which closed, leaving no sign of a trap door behind it with a neat little click.

Now Rory was really getting worried.

"Uh, look, miss. I really don't want to have to h-hurt you, so could you just-" – he did a tied up shrug again- "I don't know- walk off?"

To his surprise, the hooded figure, stopped being, well , hooded, quickly revealing a smiling blond woman in her twenties, from underneath, who was almost jumping up and down with excitement.

"So, you another Timelord then? Briliant! Pleased to meet you Master."- she offered her hand to shake his, but then remembered that he was tied up, muttered "Sorry!" and went to untie his hands.

"Look, I'm not the Master, alright! Rory! Rory Williams!"

"It's okay, you don't have to hide, I'm a friend. Untying you, see?" – she said, releasing his hands.

Rory just sighed, rubbing his wrist absent-mindedly, excepting his sad fate of being called master for the rest of the day.

"Wait, weren't you the one that just hit me with a hammer?"

"Weeell, yes. But very very carefully and only as hard as necessary."- Rory just rolled his eyes at that, but was completely ignored by the blond who expertly changed the subject– "Is the Doctor really here?"

"Look, uhm, miss, there has been a huge mistake. Please listen. You seem like a nice person. The Doctor is here- "- "Yes! "- "but if you let me go now, he will not barge in here and make a mess, I promise."

The rest of Rory's sentence seemed to have lost its impact because , instead of being even slightly worried of the expected arrival of the Oncoming Storm, the blond was currently doing a…silly little happy dance? What..

She abruptly stopped, looked at her watch and turned urgently to Rory again:

"We're all out of time. Slip those ropes as comfortably as you can back on, would you?"

"Can't you just let me go and avoid the chaos?"

"Sorry, no. That will blow my cover. I'm actually here to rescue Jack, do you know him?"

Rory shook his head.

"Yeah, well, Collectors are secretive creepsters, so I have no idea where he is being kept. I've been snooping around for a week now, until I heard of the Timelord arriving! How exciting! You came with quite the bang too- for some reason we pulled three TARDISes at the same time with you, causing a power shortage. At first I thought that I had the wrong person, one heart and all-

"Look, I think-"

"but they said it's just a Chameleon Circuit in operation- apparently they've collected a few of those as well. I'm sure you have the proper Timelordy explanation, but right now what's important is that we have all we need start a rescue plan. So- "

"- that this is a very bad idea…"

"-when the Doctor comes, we'll be able to join forces with him and break out, okay? If he's really this close-"

"But you're not even listening to me, are you…" – Rory gave up. That's all he could do against somebody that apparently did not need to breathe while talking at all.

"-I should be able to send him a psychic message- I'm not that good with psychicness…ness, but Jack taught me a few things. Pity I don't know how to directly direct him, psychic paper messaging is way easier than the real thing, so I may not be able to talk to Jack, but still I'll be able to tell the Doctor the co-ordinates to a back door, and try to meet him there, alright?"

Rory just grunted. Great- all he needed right now was another enigmatic woman. At least she seemed happy enough- in fact, in all of his thousands of years of experience he had never encountered anybody that cheerful in a dangerous situation, with the possible exception of the Doctor. Who was this Jack guy anyway- another Timelord? Pretty boring name for a Timelord, Jack. Besides, Amy had told him the Doctor was the last one. Then again- the Doctor lies.

The blonde nodded, took a quick look at his wrists and started typing on the computer again. Well, he couldn't do much right now, Rory thought, might as well go with it. Better than dying, in any case.

"Okay, fine, can you at least tell me your name?"

She grinned and put her hood back on.

"Call me Jenny."


	17. Contacting Ponds and co

_**Gulp. It's been how long since I've updated?! Impossible! Weeell, I may have miscalculated a little bit. 3 days, 3 weeks- same difference. You know how it is with a time machine. **_

_**Anyway, I am sorry, I am so sorry .**_

_**And here's the next part!**_

* * *

"Seriously?! "- Donna yelled observing the first part of the plan being set in motion from the three Timelords in front of her- "We've got the three biggest geniuses in the universe, who also happen to be the same person, and THAT's how we look for the Ponds?!"

Her Doctor just turned his head and grinned proudly. After all it had taken him, himself and he only a couple of minutes to find the best possible plan of action (well it would have been quicker if 9 had helped even a little bit instead of insisting of rolling his eyes exasperated) and currently his 11th self was scanning the marketplace for his companions. While standing on top of 10's shoulders. Who in turn was supported by his 9th self who still tried to look annoyed while obviously was having too much fun.

As a whole they had a pillar of handsome Timelord geniuses each on top of the other, gently swaying in the air, the top part of which was currently yelling at the top of its lungs 'COME ALOOOONG POOOONDS, where the HELL did you go off to THIS TIIIIME!"

Yep, 10 thought, brilliant work. And prepared himself to yell as well, boosting the volume.

"You're like a bunch of space monkeys! Where'd you come from ,planet of the apes?!"- Donna said as young Rose joined her, muttering:

"And he calls humans apes! Mind you, at least now we know the reason behind the bananas."

"Ha! Ya hear that you big -"

"POOOOOOOONDS!"- This time all three Doctors yelled at exactly the same time, cutting whatever remark Donna had prepared. She was not amused.

"Don't do that! It's creepy!"

10 only looked at her pointedly in response and deadpanned:

"Is this the real life."

Underneath him the 9th Doctor's face split into a huge grin and he turned to Donna, too, making the pillar a little wobbly in the process (thankfully with some impressive gymnastics on 11's part it soon stabilised), and also said:

"Is this just fantasy."

11, still making small circling motions with his left leg and hands in an attempt not to fall off, all the while having his eyes scout the entire market also joined in, almost muttering:

"Caught in a landslide…"

"Oh, just you start singing it, you martians! I dare you! One more line from Bohemian rhapsody and I'm gonna slap your little circus back into the seventies! ".

Young Rose just snorted in amusement and started dialing the number the 11th Doctor had given her for his TARDIS once more, walking a little to the side, watching the 10th Doctor pout a little. The 9th one, however, started humming the melody to the song, grinning in delight that it was finally his turn to annoy somebody today. He let his eyes fall to his Rose who looked back in desperation.

"Doctor, the phone didn't work again!"

9 tried to shrug without actually shrugging and making the already unsteady tower topple and said:

"That's alright, Rose, it might be the time interference. Too many versions of the same thing you're trying to call at the same place." 10 looked down and caught his eye muttering-

"Actually, my TARDIS doesn't have a phone, so what time interference…" 11 paid no attention to the exchange, instead bellowing "POOOONDS" again, which only caused Donna to shield her ears.

"Where did the other Rose go anyway?"- 10 looked around, rather too frantically as this destabilised the 11th Doctor whom he was supporting enough to start waving with his hands, desperately trying not to fall off AND save his dignity. And that lead him to promptly step on 10's face.

So the next yell the genius handsome Doctor pillar produced went something like:

"POOOOooOON-whoa, whoa, WHOA, steady as she goes! Never you mind where she is, KEEP STILL!"

"I would if you STOPPED using my face as a DOOR MAT!"

"Oh, I am sorry. SOO SORRY!"

"STOP MOCKING ME!"

"Aagh, BOWTIE! Stop fidgeting!"- a third voice added in a strong northern accent.

"Well you better keep it steady then!"

"Do I look like I'm doing this on purpose!"

"You, no, but mister hair gel here…"

"NOT a brilliant idea to make the person stopping you from falling all the way from here ANGRY!"

"HE USES HAIR GEL!?" – the northern accent was horrified.

"NO I DON'T!"

"YES YOU DO!"

"NO I DON'T"

"You DO and I'm you, REMEMBER?!"

"BOYS STOP!"- that was a girlish voice with a cockney now and, miraculously, achieved silence.

For all of 10 seconds.

"He started it."

"HEEEY!"

"Don't make me come up there!" – and that was Donna. "Where is older you, Rose, really! How she, well you, deals with this lump, I have no idea, but if this continues I might just send a few Doctors to the hospital."

Meanwhile, the Rose in question was on the other side of the stall which sold yellow bicycles, still in hearing distance, but just out of sight, and appeared to be staring at something on the stall.

She wasn't in fact really staring and actually wasn't seeing very much at all at the moment, as she had concentrated on opening her mental bridge with her half-human Doctor. After removing her barriers, she found his presence and reached out to him.(it's just as hard to explain what a telepathic presence feels like to a non-telepathic being as it is to explain the concept of smell to a Barcelonian dog, but roughly, if somebody asked her, Rose would have said that her Doctor felt mobile, dark-blue and like the feeling you get when you find a little antique bookshop hidden away AND it has all your favourite books AND a cosy sofa. AND it's snowing outside and nice and warm inside and you can get hot tea. Yep, that feeling. The complete complex pack of smells, emotions, tastes and ideas, mystery and anticipation, and ,curiously enough, contentment was there.) She smiled as he eagerly made the connection and her smirk found its way into their mental dialogue. Now that is just as impossible to describe, as it is not a voice echoing down your mind (as Rose had initially expected) but rather the other person speaking in much the same way a person speaks in their own head while thinking. Only in both heads at once. However their conversation started not with words but with waves of emotions- relief came over from the Doctor before his Timelord mind had even thought of a witty hello and was met by a wave of happiness on Rose's behalf that was immediately returned. Overarching it all, as it always had been, was the complete and overwhelming dedication each had to the other, burning with an incredible intensity. Now, people who do not communicate telepathically would just wave this off as simply love, but it was so much more. The Doctor found himself marvelling at the fact that however many times they made the connection (and they almost never closed it really) the impact could still render him speechless. HIM. Well, thoughtless. They could stay there all day and just bask in the warmth and feeling of one another. But work had to be done and soon, so Rose started:

"Eeh, what's up, Doc'

"Don't you Bugs bunny me, young lady, you had me worried sick!"

"Quite right too" a pang of guilt made its way following her statement.

"Jest not!"

"Oh, stop quoting Shakespeare and listen, cuz you were very very right to worry. Your driving is so bad that we're in the wrong universe altogether!"- and there was a hint of annoyance and amusement.

"Ah. So you found..him?"

"Yep! All three of him."

"What?!"

"Well, you're the cheeky monkey that keeps hunting for bananas on the same planet all the time, why you are even surprised is beyond me…'

"No, I'm just amazed by your efficiency."

"Professional Doctor finder, I am."

If possible the levels of affection the Doctor was sending off went even higher than their default background amount as he replied:

" Yeah. I'm so glad that you are."

Rose sent another smile but became momentarily distracted as close by the Doctor-pillar (which had achieved a peaceful mode of operation once more) bellowed "POOOOONDS!" again. Well, she thought, better get back to the plan, before they set themselves on fire to be better seen from distances or something.

"Doctor, did you get the message in Gallifreyan?"

"Yes and it freaked me out quite a bit, to be honest. "

"Plan of action?"

"Weeell, basically just randevoiz with us, for now. I've got an Amelia Williams with me and we just lost a Rory Williams. Tell his majesty and-which regenerations are there?"

"9,10, and apparently 11."

"Oh…noooo, not big ears. Anything but him!"

"Yeah, you might want to give your 10th self some support. He almost got beaten up by 9. He's pretty fresh as well."

"Before Jack?"

"Before the Dalek, I would imagine."

"Ooopphh, rough. How about 10, when is he from then?"

"Just after Midnight."

"Ah well, you made his day, probably. And what's 11 like?"

She glanced at the group of Timelords (well 1 Timelord) on the top of which '11' was trying to stay upright. It took him so much energy, alternating between waving his legs and his hands to retain the small balance (it was a small miracle that he hadn't fallen off already, as he had trouble not toppling over even when walking) that finally he gave up and just sort of sat down on 10's head. Which was met by another uproar of argument from bellow his bum.

"Uuugh, nevermind, where do we meet up?"

"Our TARDIS. "

"Okay, get ready for the party then."

"Roger that! Over and out!"

"Doctor, how many times, that's not a radio!"

"Rose, you are missing the whole point of 'over and out'"

There was silence for a while on both sides.

"You still there? " Rose asked, but it was rhetorical really.

"Yep! Missed you."

"I missed you too, but if we are going to get to resolving our current situation, we might have to shut this off again, sorry. It's making dumb, dumb and dumber real antsy."

True to her statement, when not too busy to bicker between themselves the Doctors were constantly trying to find out what that strange feeling was, in the back of their minds. As Rose was not a true telepath, she couldn't be detected by anyone else apart from her Doctor, to whom she was bonded. But the conversation was still happening and it was the telepathic equivalent of feeling as if you have bug on your shoulder, although you know there is nothing there and you have checked repeatedly.

"…okay."- the Doctor concurred. It was for the best, but that couldn't stop him from feeling a little bit sad anyway. Rose just smiled again, this time both mentally and physically.

"You are still there though."

"You hang up first." The Doctor replied with a goofy grin on his own face. Which the next moment slipped to surprise as Rose 'hung up' with cheeky laughter. Altogether with the fact that he had been staring at nothing for the last 10 minutes with a grin he must have been quite the sight, as Amy's raised eyebrows and crossed hands indicated. Especially when his first words, instead of supplying vital information to the Plan Of Saving Rory or indeed at least to What The Hell Had This Doctor Been Doing Staring Like An Idiot explanation she got his indignant:

"She hung up on me!?"


	18. He always wanted to do that

_**Heya! Thanks for all the support and sorry I've been gone again. I have exams soon, so naturally I decided to post a chapter and leave the story be for another week or so... I thank thee for your patience (at least it's not 12 years or something, huh) But you're in for an episode of just general silliness and no major plot development (which should be coming up in a week or so), but once more, this was intended as a medium to explore how would the characters from different seasons interact. I promise we will get right back to Rory, Jenny and Jack, real soon! Anyway, this is my longest chapter yet, so please enjoy and your criticism will be extremely helpful!**_

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After 'hanging up' on her mind conversation with her own Doctor, Rose emerged from her hiding spot and went straight to the tower of Doctors which was once more swaying dangerously and spraying insults left and right. Her attempts to win their attention shouting (at first 'Hey!' then 'Doctor!' and finally 'OI YOU!') failed and were completely ignored, however, as they were too busy trying to resolve the interesting conundrum presented by the task of keeping the tower upright while its lowest bit (namely the ninth Doctor) was trying to get to the highest bit (the 11th Doctor) and presumably strangle him when he got there. The middle bit (the 10th Doctor) was trying to stop this from occurring, much to the amusement of both Donna and the younger Rose. They were much less concentrated in watching the Doctor Tower so they instantly noticed when the older Rose had joined them. Well, maybe not instantly, but shouting right next to them is enough to get any audience's attention.

"Oh, you missed out so much"- the younger one grinned at her future self.

"Yeah…about that- what are they even doing?!"- was the reply.

"No idea, but it's time they stopped doing it."- Donna muttered and brought two fingers to her mouth whistling really loud. That instantly brought three pairs of eyes on her.

"Oh, Rose, you're back! Don't wander off like that!"- 10 said. The Rose in question just rolled her eyes and ignored him in favour of getting on with their mission, addressing all three of him at once:

"Okay, Doctors, we have an Amelia Williams located and waiting at the Tardis and-"

"You found my Pond! How'd you find my Pond!" – 11 exclaimed excited, grinning down at his younger selves wildly. "Molto bene!"-10 added, with his very face-splitting smile. His Rose could sort any problem out! Impossibe? Pff easy.

9 was a little less impressed:

"Yes, astounding, now get off me and let's go."

There was a short awkward silence (2 out of 3 Doctors were still smiling their faces off) and then 11, with no change in expression whatsoever asked:

"How…?"

"Wait, you are telling me you never got to that part of your 'brilliant' plan?!"- Donna was not amused.

"We were busy! Okay!"

"Doing what, arguing over each other's clothes?!"- young Rose sided with Donna. What were they thinking! Her Doctor would be way more responsible than that, he would! She frowned. Wouldn't he..? Hmm, now that she thought about it…. She stole a look at her older self, who was just smirking, confirming Young Rose's new theory-maybe her Doctor was like this too, he was, after all, the same person, wasn't he? He always seemed so dark and withdrawn but sometimes, underneath it all..maybe he was just great at hiding it. She wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. She was sure, however, that she wanted to see more of that side come out…

During her silent musings, the 11th Doctor mistook her look of concentration for silent judgement (Young Rose? Judging somebody?! Judging me?! Whoa, I must have really screwed up- is what he probably thought) and he backpedalled into defence:

"Just, just "- he tried to think of an excuse; failed – "Just get off my back you two!" – he said at the condenscending duo of women.

"No, **You** get off **My** back!"- 10 tried to explain at him semi-calmly.

"Still- **how**?!"

"How am I supposed to know?! JUST DO IT!"- the pinstriped Doctor yelled at him. He was never going to hear the end of this from Donna….

"Well, If you and mister big ears don't know why do you expect **ME** to know? I **AM** you, just from the future!"

"Aren't you supposed to be also wiser then?!"

"Ha! Look who's talking! Mister Timelord Victorious! "

"What is that even supposed to mean!"

"Hey!"- the 9th Doctor thick accent calmly re-entered the conversation (or more recently shouting match which now rapidly dissolved in silence in favour of listening)-" I have a perfectly good idea of how to get 'im off. "

"Well? We don't have all day you know!"- Donna raised her eyebrows. This had better be good. As soon as 9 winked at her, she knew she would not be disappointed.

A grin appeared on his face, slowly, somewhat reminding the Roses of that cartoon of the Grinch they had seen when they were kids. He turned to the Doctor on his shoulders and asked:

"So, are you thinkin' what I'm thinking?"

"Well, obviously, because I am obviously you"- 10 retorted –"….oooh. Oh, ho ho ho! Oh no. Ha! I've always wanted to do that!"

"After all this time?"- the grin of the 9th Doctor was now threatening to spill over from the sides of his face. He was going to hit two daleks with one shot! (which was, surprisingly enough the Timelord equivalent of the human saying two birds with one stone, or however that went. You know, primitive, ape version, but still same meaning)

"Ohh and here come the Harry Potter references"- Donna sighed. She was still waiting for the show to come so she wasn't really holding it against him. The Rose from the future turned to her and just shrugged:

"To be honest I am surprised it took them so long. Boys, the book still hasn't come out for this me"- she gestured at her younger self- "And therefore I still haven't read it then, remember! Watch your spoilers!"

10 just turned to her with a wild manic grin(even more so than usual) and winked: "Always."

"That's settled then. Rose?"- 9 turned to his Rose

"Yes?"- she replied confused. How was 'always' even a Harry Potter reference?!

Meanwhile 10 was muttering under his nose happily "Yup, always wanted to do this, just never thought I would be assisting myself in doing it to ME! Hah! Who would've thought! Certainly not me, obviously, so that actually leave only a few people around who could…."

He was obviously rambling, maybe even a little bit nervously. 11, who had so far been carefully studying the faces of his previous regenerations, trying to guess what was their plan and what was with all the evil secretive smirking (as well as, of course, admiring his own fabulous hair from above- no wonder Rose had liked it, that thing was gorgeous!) , finally caught on. His eyes widened.

"Hahaha, what a joker I am, eh Rose? Made me think they were going to do this to me. Hahaaa.."

When he looked down and only found two determined Doctor faces he really started to panic. Donna was looking up at him and seemed to be spending her entire mental energy on wishing some unknown deity for popcorn and a camcorder.

"Fellas? You're not REALLY gonna- "

But he couldn't finish. Because right at that moment the 9th Doctor said to Rose, finishing his sentence from earlier: "Run."

And she did, struggling to keep up as the Doctor Tower sprinted off, comically trailing the top bit a bit behind. The top bit which was currently yelling:

" Guuuuys! You are SO gonna regret this in a few years when you're in my shoes, I am te-E-e-E-lling you! LISTEN TO MEEEE!"

And then:

"Oh. No! NO! No stop it, why does nobody ever listen,STOP IT NO NO NO NO!"

And then the said top bit of the Doctor Tower hit the tree that the bottom had directed them to and stayed there. Well technically, hung there, feet wriggling in 4 meters in the air.

The bottom two Doctors of the Tower converted to a piggy back ride and continued running, with young Rose right next to them in the general direction of the TARDIS, cackling off into the distance.

The other Rose and Donna approached slowly the three. Both were gobsmacked. Donna was expecting something good but that was just…. They stood there watching 11 wriggle his legs about helplessly for about a minute, then Rose spoke:

"Now was that sadism or masochism, I will never know."

"Do they even know where they're going ?! "- the Doctor huffed from above

"Yeah, probably not, I never even said where our Tardis is!"

"Those morons!"

"Oi, stop badmouthing yourself already, that's my job, remember? And get down!"- Donna yelled up at him. She was still processing what had just happened. The Doctor and The Doctor had just put The Doctor up on a tree and ran away one Doctor giving the other a piggy back ride. That was just…wow.

"I'm fine here, thank you very much!"- replied the Timelord with as much dignity one can muster while hanging off a branch.

"Come on, you big wuss, me and Donna are gonna help. Just jump, we're gonna catch you!"

"Ahahaha. No. Besides! I told you, I'm fine! I'm working on it!" He looked down and absently waved his legs back and forth before coming to the conclusion that he would not make the jump. He spared a glance and grin at his audience who were patiently waiting for him to slip. Ha! Him- slip? Not today! No more making fun of this Doctor! He swung sideways this time, catching the tree trunk with his right leg, attempting to latch onto the trunk with both legs and then carefully descend. Success! Except his shoe somehow caught on a branch on the other side and he didn't have enough strength to swing there only using one leg. Well. That was a bit awkward. He looked down again. Donna was facepalming and Rose grinning. Okay, so much for graceful… He tried pulling up again, but his leg was caught too high up. He tried releasing it but it was magnificently stuck. Blimey, he couldn't have done that if he tried! He looked around and cleared his throat.

"Blimey! So uh, it really worked! You've got your own little Tardis! That's just amazing!"

"Yep! All thanks to Miss Donna Noble here!"- he was obviously attempting to draw attention away from his awkward pose, and buy some time, but Rose didn't call him out on it. He knew that she knew and he was extremely grateful when he was allowed to continue for now.

Donna, on the other hand had no idea where the hell did this conversation come from and no idea what it was about, but politeness was politeness so she said to Rose:

"Uhm, you're welcome I guess?"

"Hey I helped too!"- he squeeked from above.

Rose smiled softly. That man never changed…

"Yes, of course, Doctor. Thank you. "

He smiled a gigantic grin, replying quietly:

"No, thank you, Rose Tyler. For everything."- he didn't know if she had heard him. Perhaps she had as it was her turn to now awkwardly clear her throat, changing the topic:

"Anyway, why do you ask, you thought we cycled here or something?"

"Oh ha ha haa, why don't you just go marry Donna and start a 'let's make fun of respectable people' club."- he pouted.

"I sort of did that, remember?!"- Donna just gaped at her.

"Oh, yeah, how did that go?"- The Doctor stopped his futile attempts to release his foot and turned his attention fully to the conversation once more.

"Now you ask!"- Rose replied frowning but she caught sight of the 'hurt puppy/I just failed to save somebody guilt trip' look growing on the young-looking Doctor's face and quickly added- "It was brilliant, of course it was, you daft alien! How could it not be- it's with you. But you still didn't even ask and didn't even say goodbye, that was… let's talk about this when you're down, 'kay?"- she finished as she now noticed the baffled expression of Donna next to her. The redhead grabbed the opening instantly, asking:

"How'd you mean you sort of married me? And then you say you married him! I am really. Really. Confused."

"Human-Timelord biological metacrisis."- Rose said as it was something that commonly occurred every Sunday after roast. Donna just raised her eyebrows, looked up (but not at the sky or the Doctor, just as a way as to emphasise her exasperation) than back at Rose. Then put her hands in the air, tilted her head and said, emphasising every syllable:

"In Eng- lish Pleeeease." The Doctor was the one to explain:

"The spoiler free abridged version goes like this: got me hand cut off, Jack put it in a jar, the world was about to end, me, you, Martha, and a whole lot of other people met up, or will meet up, in your future, almost regenerated, but prevented it by putting my energy in the hand, later you touched it and WHAM!"- he smiled- "another Doctor grew out. Only he had half your DNA so he was also half-human. He later stayed in the parallel universe with Rose and that's all! Oh and you saved the multiverse in the process."

"Oh, now you're just making stuff up."

"But you did! Will!"- Rose joined in once more.

"Don't be daft."

"Me? Never. It's my job to not be daft when my husband is."

Donna just laughed at that.

"So you married the mega…"

"Metacrisis. Yep. He took the name John Noble, after you. Because you two share some DNA that sort of makes you my sister-in-law. But, only If you want me to, of course." For that Rose received a great bear hug from Donna.

"Oh I'd love that! So am I gonna meet my sort-of brother then?"

"Yes, as soon as that clown up there finally decides to come down."

"Oi! Stop making fun of me!"- the Doctor who had stopped, watching the two women talk with a sad smile (why did the universe always insist on reminding him of all the things he'd lost) he now redoubled his efforts.

"To be fair though, you make it way too easy, sunshine." – Donna smirked.

"You sure you don't need any help down?"- Rose asked.

"No,nooo, nooo! Haven't you heard? Superior Timelord physiology. "

"Superior, my ass! He snores like a tiger with asthma and is mortally afraid of pears. "- she whispered to Donna.

They stared at him in silence for a few minutes. One of his shoes fell down. It was the wrong one, the other one was still caught up there. Rose picked the shoe up and started tossing it in her hand absent-mindedly. Donna looked horrified.

"Ew don't touch that!" Rose just ignored her and yelled up at the would-be acrobat:

"Doctor, we don't have all day! I really don't want to come back and have to deal with three bored Doctors. AND I REALLY DO NOT NEED to clear up after a triple-doctor food fight in the kitchen of MY TARDIS! "

"Calm your horses, Rose!"- he yelled back moving his sock-clad foot to encircle the tree trunk and almost losing his grip in the process.

"I don't even have any horses!"

Donna looked at her as if she had just grown another hand.

"What?"

"Rose that's just a phrase, tell me you know tha-"-but she was interrupted by the yell from above:

"Yeah, well that's your own fault for not wanting to keep Arthur!"

"Okay, enough! I've had it with your conversations that just don't make any sense! Ugh, sorry Rose, may I?"- Donna said as she snatched the shoe from Rose and threw it with surprising accuracy at the Doctor's head, causing him to detach one of his hands from his death grip and rub his head with it.

"Ouch, Donna, that hurt! What was that fo-"-he began but as he was now supporting most of his weight on one hand and that was not a very good idea as he soon found out when that hand slipped. He desperately grabbed the trunk with both hands, but that was not enough- his whole weight now rested on the shoe up on the tree which, instead of disentangling itself, just swiftly slipped off his other leg. So that left a shoeless Doctor finally free and sliding down the tree and into a tiny heap on the ground. (a lot less gently and carefully than intended but hey)

The women just stared. He glared.

"What was THAT FOR?! I could have broken my spine or something!"

"FOR MAKING ME TOUCH YOUR DIGUISTING SHOE, ALIEN BOY!"

"But, you wouldn't have touched it if you hadn't-"

At that moment Rose finally decided to interrupt and get the party going.

"Doctor, we have to go now"- Rose she murmured as she pulled him up.

"Hello!"- he said and grinned at her dusting himself off.

"Hello."

"Hello."

"Oh, that's just not fair. Did Jack tell you that! Oh I AM going to kill that man!"

"Let's face it, if anyone can, that would be you, miss Impossible-Is-Nothing Tyler."

"That's Mrs."

"Isn't it just!"

"What was that supposed to mean!"

Once more Donna was facing a line of nonsense the others were pretending was a conversation and decided not to hear any more of it.

"If you think I will be running to make up for the time you lost us, you've got another thing coming, alien boy!"

"Oh I happen to have just the thing then. Pockets, eh Donna?"- said the aforementioned alien after wriggling his toes sadly, tossing one of his shoes at the other, attempting to get it down, completely missing it and just giving up, going shoeless. And he started to rummage his pockets. Rose was looking at him curiously but Donna's eyes just widened.

"If you think I am going to take a ride in your pocket, while you run around, in your SOCKS none the less, you have ANOTHER THING COMING, you weirdo!"

But he was already pulling something out of his pockets and winked.

"Bigger on the inside, remember?"

It was a yellow motorbike.


	19. Alone with his thoughts

_**Hi again! It's me! I'm alive! But but, that's impossible- you may mutter, but I am. So here's a real short chapter, focusing on an explanation of Jack, whom I regret to say I can't write that well, and I hope to update again tonight! I am almost completely certain that I will. Well, -Ish. Kinda. A bit.**_

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Jack fidgeted in the darkness. Well, it wasn't really dark but he was blindfolded and chained to the wall. Not that he wasn't a fan of that sort of thing, but for once he had to agree with the Doctor- there was a time and a place. It wasn't now. Nothing had happened for hours and hours and he was so bored that he had imagined nearly 17 plans to escape (was halfway there on the 17th but what if the guard was hot? He couldn't just ignore that...) but instead of putting any of them in action, he was biding his time, waiting for the Doctor. He hadn't seen his skinny arse ever since The Year that Never Was on the Valiant. Of course, he wouldn't put meeting the Doctor again so high on his priority list if it wasn't for the misterious woman who just walzed right into the Hub one morning and declared she was the Doctor's daughter.

A right surprise that had been. At first he had snorted with disbelief, (what happened to not doing domestic, doc?) but then a particular detail came to his attention. She was blond. The Doc, in both incarnations had not been. She also had two hearts and after waiting patiently to be scanned by the apprehensive Torchwood opperatives, she checked out as Time Lord. So that allowed a few possibilities: One- she was an escapee from the Time War, just like the Master had been, and was one of his children from before that (hadn't he mentioned something about having a granddaughter?). Two, she was the current Doctor's daughter as she said, but she had already regenerated into a new face, so she didn't resemble him much. But that was unbelievable, frankly...unless... but she was trapped in another universe, the Doctor had said. Jack frowned under his blindfold as he retraced his logic. Well, at least his little Rosie wasn't dead, right? Aanyway, back to possibility three, the one that- as hard as that is- utterly terrified him. That the woman was actually the Master regenerated. Or from before in his timeline. As a girl.  
Well if anything, that filled him with mixed feelings.  
When he looked closer though, into her eyes: they were full of curiosity and honesty, untempered by the ages he found in the Doc's ones or by the madness and desperation in the Master's. So, giving her the benefit of doubt, he called up Martha (who had apparently started to work in Unit on Earth after the whole ordeal and had even met the Doctor and his new companion recently) and there was a lot of squeeling, happy tears on both sides of the phone, jumping around and lots and lots of questions.  
Apparently all of his theories about Jenny had been wrong. Which was a good thing, because she was incredibly attractive and flirty and it would have been such a pity if she was really a relative of the Doctor. Well she was, but in the more -having good times with her- allowing type of way, than all the other options had been. Jack smirked.  
And that is how he ended up here, tied up in the rather disappointing type of way. Never could resist a damsel in distress, he could. By trying to contact the Doctor (his phone wasn't working for who knows what reason) after weeks of waiting around in the Hub, having general catching up with Martha, and training Jenny (she was surprisingly, even after one knew the context of her very existence, well versed in combat) they had attracted some sort of cult or something- the Collectors, who detected the phone call to the TARDIS and went right through the rift. No biggie, he had thought at the begining but they had 'collected' such impressive technology that within moments the whole team was rendered unconscious, including Jack. Luckily, as they explained to him later, they were aiming to 'collect' all the immortal beings in the universe not kill and had not harmed any of his friends. They only aimed to learn about immortality from the three great ones. All the three of them. Jack hadn't liked the sound of that. The only other two close to immortal beings he knew , he definitely did not want trapped. His chances of dancing with them would be terribly slim if they were! Luckily, it turned out, as he found out after his bum was pinched while he was transported to from one area to the other, that Jenny was still on the loose and working for the Collectors now, hoping to use their plan to reunite with her Dad. He hadn't seen her after that and he had been relocated at least 10 times. He was willing to bet they only had like 3 cells and kept moving him from one to the other after a long walk around the facility. There were way too many left turns in each walk and all the cells smelled suspiciously the same.  
Jack signed. He hoped something interesting would happen soon.  
It did.


End file.
